Damage_inc- Posted November 23, 2014 Member ID: 2048 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 294 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 6689 Content Per Day: 1.37 Reputation: 4709 Achievement Points: 48999 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/15/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: November 29, 2023 Birthday: 05/30/1967 Device: Windows Share Posted November 23, 2014 Three religious missionaries, an Orthodox Jewish Rabbi, a Catholic Priest and a pious Protestant Christian Missionary are caught by the local cannibalistic natives and are brought before the Chief. The Rabbi is forced forward at spear point. "You have tried to impose your religion on my village, and you must be punished. Do you chose death or Oonga Boonga?" Having no idea what Oonga Boonga is, he decalres, "God may have plans for me, and this could be a test of my faith. I choose Oonga Bonga over death". The villagers all gather around the Rabbi in a circle, and begin chanting Oonga Boonga, Oonga Boonga...Oonga Boonga. Just then 12 warriors appear, naked as the day they were born, all with huge, thick erections. They quickly strip the rabbi naked, and force him to the ground, one after the other forcing themselves upon the rabbi until they are all spent and the rabbi is a shivering, wreck curled up in a fetal position on the soil. The Chief motions for the Catholic Priest to step forward. "You have tried to impose your religion on my village, and you must be punished. Now that you have witnessed it, do you chose death or Oonga Boonga?" As the Priest had some experience of certain matters as an alter boy, he said a quick prayer and to the cheers of the surrounding villagers said aloud "I chose Oonga Boonga". This time 24 warriors came forward, each larger than the last, they took the priest from both ends at once, two at once in his arsehole, they abused him, used him, and left him bloodied and bruised, a soiled and broken man. The Protestant Missionary was ushered to the Chief, who again said, "You have tried to impose your religion on my village, and you must be punished. Do you chose death or Oonga Boonga?" The missionary stood up ramrod straight. "I have seen the disgusting depravities you call justice. God doesn't want us to suffer in such ways or indulge in such barbaric repugnant behaviours. I gladly chose death and go to meet my maker, pure, unsoiled and in glory". There's a collective groan from the disapointed onlooking villagers. "Hmmmm", said the Chief. "You are a brave man, and as such we will honour you with the death of a captured warrior". "DEATH BY OONGA BOONGA!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Mule Posted November 23, 2014 Member ID: 390 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 32 Topic Count: 410 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 4251 Content Per Day: 0.80 Reputation: 3050 Achievement Points: 35625 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 7 Joined: 09/14/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: February 20 Birthday: 05/08/1959 Device: Windows Share Posted November 23, 2014 That is SICK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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