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Need help with the female species... Please?


Damage

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"Ahem" I beseech thee great and powerful community of the Xtreme. Anybody an expert in this field? :P

 

Alright, so here's the problem guys and gals. Im 14, everybodies first impression of me is that im 19 but im 14. 

And theres this girl I love. (Awww, aint that cute?) NO. It isn't. (Not when you feel like tearing yourself apart)

 

And I have a major anxiety problem, Fight or Flight. Now everybody who's tried to snipe me knows im a good fighter ;P. But girls are my weakness. (Shhh! Dont tell the enemy that!) For some reason I feel like running when im next to her. It's a major problem to me. And I have NO idea why I feel that way. I mean, I'm a quiet and sensitive guy. But the problem is that I feel I've kind of fucked up because I let my anxiety get the best of me most of the time. 

 

And I'm running out of time, I know her from school. annnd school ends in three weeks and were not in the same grade as each other. So I'm in a LITTLE bit of a situation here, right? 

 

I have no idea if she likes me but I feel that she's pissed at me and wont talk to me because things were going good but then my anxiety got the better of me and I got more secluded. (We are a LOT alike, and I would probably feel the same way in the same position, which in a double mind f'ing way I am) 

 

Any suggestions?!?! Yell

 

Thanks.

 

Yes, I know its probably simpler than im making it. But I'd rather know the best trick to jump into the pool, before I do. Right?

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Your 14 go injoy your summer girls and self confidence will come with time and as you have typed its not yours yet. Relax

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Damage, first let me say you are very well spoken. I know and relate to your fears and emotions. My whole life I have had this fear and I finally figured it out and you actually already know the answer. You are afraid of rejection. Whats the most that can happen. If she says no then you know its no and its settled. Now you dont know and you are torturing your self and making yourself hurt. Yes its normal, but so is you liking girls. Just visualize for a breif moment that she indeed says yes! Now you have the thrill of your life with just having a date with her. She won't wait forever so if you really like her that much put your pride out there and simply ask her out! You might get the biggest surprise of your life that she really likes you too.  Good luck and relax and do it and have fun with the experience of dating. 

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Thanks Dean, but the most that can happen from rejection... is a lot. But its not the thing of dating, its the thing of that. Yes I do want to have a relationship with her but I kind of cant do that if shes trying to avoid me because my mind tries to avoid her. Right? And really... this is what I've tried to explain to many people. Dating in school really isnt anything, its more of a social responsability to be together than actually liking each other. 95% of relationships in my class end with no feelings what so ever. I'm not a person that would just go and date somebody because their popular or look good. So I want to be good friends with her, but it's hard to when I fight against myself. :{

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Yo man, I had the same problem years ago, you just need to take a breather and go for it, I live by the moto, you only live once and don;t let fear run your life, you wil got shot down from time to time but learn from it and you will get that girl you want, you just need to relax and go big or go home.

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I was in te same boat this year, I seen this girl, she is in political science like me and man she is beautiful and amazing and I was so scared but I went up to her and when it feels right you will be able to speak and now I am in love with her and I am so happy, so take your chance and go for her, I did and now I have the love of my life, goodluck and be yourself and get yur girl

 

3rd

 

p.s if she says yes or no and you find another girl then use this line on like the second date, look at her in the eyes and say her name, then say, I think eyes are the most important to me because 85 to 90 % I will be looking into them and (her name) when I look into your all I see is something amazing, something I want for myself to share with. its gold and it works, thats my personal line for you to use

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Alright man, I think I'l figure something out. Thanks for the help.

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ughhhh how come I gotta be the butt hole here and state the obvious but your "gut" feeling of flight is absolutely 100 percent correct. it knows that there is a very great chance that ALOT of DRAMA will come from it, especially from say when a girl hits puberty to , well everyone has their own opinion and story about the age at which they start to realize that it takes WAY to much energy and medication to deal with drama. but most would agree that only a handful of teenagers are at that point of realization. there are some but not alot. so again RUN.  ok that was my haha for the day.   seriously man just be confident that no matter  what she does or says it doesnt make you any less of a human. Listen to what she has to say (the best you can) and I can guarantee with that confidence and respect shown to her you'll have no problems.

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3rdCdnInfty

p.s if she says yes or no and you find another girl then use this line on like the second date, look at her in the eyes and say her name, then say, I think eyes are the most important to me because 85 to 90 % I will be looking into them and (her name) when I look into your all I see is something amazing, something I want for myself to share with. its gold and it works, thats my personal line for you to use

Hey who ever make these wonderful medals we have  could you please make a casanova medal and award it to Mr  that is such a wonderfuly nice thing to say  wow.  I gotta remember that one

 

+10

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Just remember to chill out, have some fun relax and whatever is going to happen will happen. No sense is stressin over it little buddy. Get her phone number talk to her bout it and if shes a pain in the butt, find another one. Spend ur summer having fun not stressin over some girl , bro ur 14 u have plenty of time

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Damage

Thanks Dean, but the most that can happen from rejection... is a lot. But its not the thing of dating, its the thing of that. Yes I do want to have a relationship with her but I kind of cant do that if shes trying to avoid me because my mind tries to avoid her. Right? And really... this is what I've tried to explain to many people. Dating in school really isnt anything, its more of a social responsability to be together than actually liking each other. 95% of relationships in my class end with no feelings what so ever. I'm not a person that would just go and date somebody because their popular or look good. So I want to be good friends with her, but it's hard to when I fight against myself. :{

 

Holy crap, that's deep.

Best of luck bro!

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Damage
Alright man, I think I'l figure something out. Thanks for the help.

 Looks like your not alone here Damage. Yeah we may be old foggies but we as mena and boys have all been there done that! So we are rooting for you!

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DUDE , JUST BE YOURSELF,

SINCE YOU BOTH LIKE PLAYING VIDS

HAVE HER OVER SOMETIME AND PLAY TOGETHER

JUST BE WHO YOU ARE AND HAVE FUN

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Dark Asylumn

3rdCdnInfty

p.s if she says yes or no and you find another girl then use this line on like the second date, look at her in the eyes and say her name, then say, I think eyes are the most important to me because 85 to 90 % I will be looking into them and (her name) when I look into your all I see is something amazing, something I want for myself to share with. its gold and it works, thats my personal line for you to use

Hey who ever make these wonderful medals we have  could you please make a casanova medal and award it to Mr  that is such a wonderfuly nice thing to say  wow.  I gotta remember that one

 

+10

 lol haha thanks, it works :)

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They hate being ignored, and love competition. If you start talking all sweet to another girl with her around, not too close or trying to see her reactions, it will get her moving. This only works if she wants to like you, cause she isn't sure either, cause you're BOTH 14 FOR CHRIST SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you have a minibike or a guitar or a pellet gun or something? I am not busting your balls, but you got the rest of your adult life to worry about women (and paying for them too, you will see....) have fun while you are young my friend, responsibility comes quickly.

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Hey Damage , I would let her finish 3rd grade then see how it goes from there.LaughingLaughingLaughing

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Dude, you are letting this girl freak you out waaay too much. If she is trying to avoid you, screw her, let her be. If she's not trying to avoid you, she won't.

 I know when i was your age I would have scoffed at someone telling me what i'm about to tell you, but here it is... don't try to rush into having a relationship, be 14. Don't sweat this crap, you'll get laid soon enough.

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dude you will never understand women just like women will ever understand men. it's all part of life.

you will know when you have true love. i have been up and down and upside down trying to figure it out.

but in the end you will see what i mean when you find the right girl like i did in mrs Bud. someone who will

have your back even if you are doing the wrong thing. we have been together over 16yrs and rings on for 13yrs.

so hang in there bro shit happens just don't be afraid of life. SR. Innocent

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Alright, well thanks guys. I didn't expect so many replies! But I'm very grateful for them :D. Its really just come down to the problem of, if I just keep on trying I stress myself out and if I dont try then I get stressed out about missing out on what could be. But I think I'l just play it cool for now and try to accept that whatever happens, happens. If nothing happens, then why worry? 

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Si Si there ya go now thats just being yourself. The rest will come you do not have that choice . Your choice is how to deal with what will come. Now after everybody said there piece we all forgot one thing. You don't live in some wierd little town where there's 2 girls and 6000 guys because if you did I would move faster. :)-

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NOT ruin your CHILDHOOD...            YOU  HAVE A LIFE AHEAD..
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At 14 I'd say don't worry about it.There are lots of girls.Plus you are thinking with the wrong head.

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Sounds like first love, i was 14 too when it happened to me, but devastated at 15Embarassed enjoy it while it's there but be prepared for heartache, if it is you will never forget it the rest of your lifeInnocent

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Damage - Need help with the female species... Please?

"Ahem" I beseech thee great and powerful community of the Xtreme. Anybody an expert in this field? :P

 

Alright, so here's the problem guys and gals. Im 14, everybodies first impression of me is that im 19 but im 14. 

And theres this girl I love. (Awww, aint that cute?) NO. It isn't. (Not when you feel like tearing yourself apart)

 

And I have a major anxiety problem, Fight or Flight. Now everybody who's tried to snipe me knows im a good fighter ;P. But girls are my weakness. (Shhh! Dont tell the enemy that!) For some reason I feel like running when im next to her. It's a major problem to me. And I have NO idea why I feel that way. I mean, I'm a quiet and sensitive guy. But the problem is that I feel I've kind of fucked up because I let my anxiety get the best of me most of the time. 

 

And I'm running out of time, I know her from school. annnd school ends in three weeks and were not in the same grade as each other. So I'm in a LITTLE bit of a situation here, right? 

 

I have no idea if she likes me but I feel that she's pissed at me and wont talk to me because things were going good but then my anxiety got the better of me and I got more secluded. (We are a LOT alike, and I would probably feel the same way in the same position, which in a double mind f'ing way I am) 

 

Any suggestions?!?! Yell

 

Thanks.

 

Yes, I know its probably simpler than im making it. But I'd rather know the best trick to jump into the pool, before I do. Right?

Sounds pretty normal to me bro. You are just scared when around a CUTE girl because they just intimidate you and the ones you really like compounds it. You dont understand them (that wont change) and you are not sure how to approach them or this one without making a complete ass out of yourself. Dude that is great! Welcome to life and learning something new. It's going to be a challenge but it will be well worth the venture no matter what except if she has a boyfriend and he kicks your ass but can be good as well i guess. :) Good memories no matter the outcome. You will remember asking this and feeling this way till you get Altimers or die.

 

Plus it is called hormones and the love for woman. Not a bad problem to have as you could like sheep or other farm animals. Each person is defferent but many of us share the same properties... like Anxiety. I feel I am an expert but lack the ability to make it go away without some kind of distraction. We all exeriance it but some forms are more extreme than others and some people have more instances and instances of anxiety than others for different reasons.

 

Anxiety can mess you up as you know like when having to take a test in school, if you care about the class that is, you try and study but you worry at the same time if you will pass it or not. It puts a mental block until you figure out how to distract yourself and study. If you keep worrying the day of the test you may choke unless you can relax somehow and go for it.

 

That is the key... a distraction.

 

If they like you and many of the times you wont even know it until you get them drunk.. lol jk... no im not. You have to go for it. Ask her out in person or facebook if you have to and give it a go. If you get to take her out, take her on a date that has some kind of activity, bowling, mini golf.... whatever. I found going to a movies on the first date put me in more of nervos state only because you are just sitting there and having to think about something to talk about. I would get a mental block and look like a dork. Get active first and that will help put you at ease. Beach, pool, darts, beer pong... whatever.

 

BUT... you will fail. Hope not this time but you will fail. You will never know until you give it a go. You will regret more the ones you did not chase than the one you did. You will atleast expericned the try rather dwelling on her not knowing causing you more anxiety.

 

Good luck bro and when you get married or let us know. BTW.. wrap that shit as you don't need to pay child support for a very long time. I know you are not even thinking that about her.. deep down you are so just be careful if the opportunity does arise.

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