Police Test

[JohnnyDos]

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>             How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish Police Officer?
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>             Consider this test scenario:
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>             QUESTION:You're a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are walking on a deserted street late at night.Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
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>             You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?
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>             ANSWERS:
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>             Canadian Police Officer:
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>             Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
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>             1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
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>             2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
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>             3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
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>             4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
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>             5) Am I dressed provocatively?
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>             6) Could I run away?
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>             7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?
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>             Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?
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>             9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?
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>             10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?
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>             11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
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>             12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?
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>             13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?
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>             Australian Police Officer:
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>             BANG !
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>             American Police Officer:
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>             BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
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>             'Click'...Reload...BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
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>             Glasgow Police Officer:
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>             "Haw, Jimmie....! Drop the wee knifie reight noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!

[TBB]

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