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Happy B-day EastCoast50


icequeenherb

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I hope your birthday cake isn't poisoned @EastCoast50.  HaHa. Happy b-day FuckFace50      :lol:

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Aw, isn't that sweet? I'm sure they haven't split up really.

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2 hours ago, icequeenherb said:

I hope your birthday cake isn't poisoned @EastCoast50.  HaHa. Happy b-day FuckFace50      :lol:

Thank you. I think. lol

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1 hour ago, RobMc said:

Aw, isn't that sweet? I'm sure they haven't split up really.

Bahahahahahahahahaha!

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6 hours ago, RobMc said:

Aw, isn't that sweet? I'm sure they haven't split up really.

Hahahahahaha. Oh we did! 

Edited by icequeenherb
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3 hours ago, icequeenherb said:

Hahahahahaha. Oh we did! And deep down I hate him. Ha. Took many years but we're friends. 

By "Took many years but we're friends", she means that I was held captive in a pit in her cellar for almost two years (apparently she's watched Silence of the Lambs too many times). One day when she was gone (getting a Tombstone tattoo of all things) I was finally able to escape ... but I didn't call the police. I spent the next year dodging a hitman and eventually I got to him first. I then assumed his identity and continued living in the underground realm of our dark, cold world, constantly having to watch my back. 

One day, I received a note from IceQueenHerb. It contained a typed-written message and some old photos. And anthrax. The HAZMAT team did their thing, and I got out of the hospital two weeks later. Not long after that, I received a second note from IceQueenHerb, but I thought, "I ain't falling for this shit again!" So, I didn't open the envelope. 

Apparently, you can lace the outside of an envelope with a certain ... let's say "chemical" ... that causes severe diarrhea and internal hemorrhaging. After three more weeks in the hospital, I moved and assumed a new dark identity.     

After a THIRD note from IceQueenHerb arrived in my mailbox, I figured out that because we work for the same agency, it was going to be difficult to avoid her completely. So, I jumped right in and opened the envelope expecting the worst. All the note said was "HA HA". No after effects. 

At this point, I think we both decided it was best for our kids that we get along. I mean, who the hell wants two daughters that hate each other and try to kill each other every other week like mom and dad?

Anyway, we sold our rights to Hollywood and they eventually came out with the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith. After the divorce, IceQueenHerb promptly took my share of the movie proceeds and bought a new truck (Spin has seen it ... totally hillbilly, but badass. Frankly, I kind of envious). 

We have both moved on in our lives since that dark time. The worst thing she's done to me since is mail a bag of Gummy Dicks to my house. It was pretty funny, but I didn't even open the fucking bag of Gummy Dicks. I mean, what guy in his right mind would? (Full disclosure: I saved the bag of Gummy Dicks for a couple of weeks and tried to explain them to my then-girlfriend. She thought it was hysterical. Bitch.)

So, yes ... now we are "friends". We enjoy legally killing each other in virtual reality courtesy of XI. So, in closing, thank you all for keeping our relationship strong. All complete strangers. Jerks.

 

 

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Happy Birthday and have a great day :yahoo:

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Happy birthday, @EastCoast50, and I've been on the lookout for your associates "HandJob20" and "Around-the-World100."

Many more to you, sir.

Ayaq

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4 minutes ago, AyaqGuyaq said:

Happy birthday, @EastCoast50, and I've been on the lookout for your associates "HandJob20" and "Around-the-World100."

Many more to you, sir.

Ayaq

Thank you!

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45 minutes ago, LaRSin said:

Happy Birthday and have a great day :yahoo:

Thanks!

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yeah...I think you choose to get along with her because she has that AR .....and knows how to use it.....remember that one time you woke up groggy and was naked except for a cheap imitation bear rug was glued to your back and some antlers were wired to your head....that last thing you remembered was eating a piece of cake ,Ice made for you........wow !! that was a good one :evil:  what an adventure you had that day trying to get back to civilization ....

:guitar:

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  • 4 weeks later...

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Some of that is actually a true story!! Hahahahahaha. @eastcoast50

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Happy birthday :)

3a74fb0ab501705e7402eae54e7df93c--happy-birthday-jennifer-happy-birthday-wishes.jpg

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Happy Birthday Fuck Face!

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On 7/31/2018 at 8:19 PM, Streetcleaner said:

yeah...I think you choose to get along with her because she has that AR .....and knows how to use it.....remember that one time you woke up groggy and was naked except for a cheap imitation bear rug was glued to your back and some antlers were wired to your head....that last thing you remembered was eating a piece of cake ,Ice made for you........wow !! that was a good one :evil:  what an adventure you had that day trying to get back to civilization ....

:guitar:

I built that AR for her! lol

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On 8/28/2018 at 9:25 AM, Mr_Wick said:

Happy Birthday Fuck Face!

Thanks you, Wick the Dick!

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Happy Birthday.

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