Jump to content
Come try out our new Arcade we just put up, new games added weekly. Link at the top of the website ×

How the holidays make me feel these days!


BigPapaDean

Recommended Posts


  • Member ID:  1128
  • Group:  ***- Inactive Clan Members
  • Followers:  78
  • Topic Count:  1188
  • Topics Per Day:  0.23
  • Content Count:  6490
  • Content Per Day:  1.26
  • Reputation:   4396
  • Achievement Points:  63167
  • Solved Content:  0
  • Days Won:  5
  • Joined:  02/13/10
  • Status:  Offline
  • Last Seen:  
  • Birthday:  10/21/1954
  • Device:  Windows

There are some questions that when I start asking them in my mind that I know that I am walking on then ice. There is a feeling that precedes those questions that tells me I am skating in a no skate zone. These feelings and questions sneak up on me and when I realize that they have, I must tell myself that I have no reason to go there. I have been down that path and all I have ever found there is pain beyond pain. If you ever feel those feelings and ask those questions and don't know what to do about them there is help. I know where to send you for that help. This time of year is the most dangerous for me because I spend so much time alone. This last week I came to realize that if something doesn't work out I will miss my next family reunion. That hurts but I do not want to be a burden to anyone and so I may have to stay home. These kinds of realizations are what brings the feelings and questions on. It's not anyone else's fault it's just the way it is. Know this this is not a plea for help it's just me putting it down so I can begin the long process of making it make sense to a brain that doesn't want to have to fight any more. Emotionally I am fine but socially I am not. I have always loved to socialize until the last 10-12 years. Now all I seem comfortable doing is sitting in my room alone and playing games on my computer. Don't feel sorry for me but if you want to help came see me and make me venture out from these four walls that keep me separated from the world I once knew and lived in. I need empathy more than someone to feel sorry for me. If you think this different for me then you may not know or understand anything I have said. This is a daily struggle and some days are better than others. This time of year always makes it much more challenging than any other time. I dread the holidays now at this age because I know how the elderly felt when I was young. Somehow I will find the strength to fight on but you may never know my struggle. Count that as a blessing because life is hard enough by itself. There are some special blessings I have been granted though I rarely get to be around or see them. Remember those that are tied down behind four walls.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Member ID:  2978
  • Group:  *** Clan Members
  • Followers:  35
  • Topic Count:  34
  • Topics Per Day:  0.01
  • Content Count:  1656
  • Content Per Day:  0.37
  • Reputation:   1106
  • Achievement Points:  26102
  • Solved Content:  0
  • Days Won:  1
  • Joined:  11/11/11
  • Status:  Offline
  • Last Seen:  
  • Birthday:  09/23/1970
  • Device:  Windows

You are not alone Buddy! That is the best part about this big gaming family. We can go into our games with all these other crazy idiots and forget about all the troubles life is and has been throwing at us. At least for a while. Just know that you have soo much to hold on to and your story is not over yet. I attempted to end my story, way to soon, a couple years back. Now I know I can find at least one thing every day that reminds me just how extremely lucky I am to not have been successful at ending my story too early. Keep writing your story buddy! I'm sure you have many, many, many more chapters that soo many of us, in this big gaming family, are looking forward to reading! We are all rooting for ya brother! Take care of yourself!

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Member ID:  489
  • Group:  *** Clan Members
  • Followers:  51
  • Topic Count:  547
  • Topics Per Day:  0.10
  • Content Count:  4668
  • Content Per Day:  0.88
  • Reputation:   5849
  • Achievement Points:  41007
  • Solved Content:  0
  • Days Won:  14
  • Joined:  09/22/09
  • Status:  Offline
  • Last Seen:  
  • Birthday:  01/09/1963
  • Device:  Kindle Fire

Viprz is right, find one thing, just one, to make the day worthwhile. This life is a gift, treasure it as a gift, and appreciate everything you've experienced, good and sad. Only one you're going to get Dean. We're not here forever, and this life is over all too soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Member ID:  42
  • Group:  *** Clan Members
  • Followers:  50
  • Topic Count:  338
  • Topics Per Day:  0.06
  • Content Count:  8258
  • Content Per Day:  1.55
  • Reputation:   5964
  • Achievement Points:  53556
  • Solved Content:  0
  • Days Won:  12
  • Joined:  09/01/09
  • Status:  Online
  • Last Seen:  
  • Birthday:  01/30/1959
  • Device:  Windows

Live every day like it's your last. Anybody who ever died would give you that piece of advice. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Member ID:  20683
  • Group:  ++ COD4 Admin
  • Followers:  138
  • Topic Count:  309
  • Topics Per Day:  0.08
  • Content Count:  3344
  • Content Per Day:  0.89
  • Reputation:   4086
  • Achievement Points:  45173
  • Solved Content:  0
  • Days Won:  22
  • Joined:  12/12/13
  • Status:  Offline
  • Last Seen:  
  • Device:  iPhone

Just an occasional...

 

return...

 

please...

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Member ID:  389
  • Group:  *** Clan Members
  • Followers:  44
  • Topic Count:  290
  • Topics Per Day:  0.05
  • Content Count:  4407
  • Content Per Day:  0.83
  • Reputation:   3554
  • Achievement Points:  36061
  • Solved Content:  0
  • Days Won:  38
  • Joined:  09/14/09
  • Status:  Offline
  • Last Seen:  
  • Birthday:  01/01/1970
  • Device:  Android

and remember who you left behind in game 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.