BigPapaDean Posted January 3, 2022 Member ID: 1128 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 78 Topic Count: 1195 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 6518 Content Per Day: 1.26 Reputation: 4407 Achievement Points: 63361 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/13/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 7 hours ago Birthday: 10/21/1954 Device: Windows Share Posted January 3, 2022 There are some questions that when I start asking them in my mind that I know that I am walking on then ice. There is a feeling that precedes those questions that tells me I am skating in a no skate zone. These feelings and questions sneak up on me and when I realize that they have, I must tell myself that I have no reason to go there. I have been down that path and all I have ever found there is pain beyond pain. If you ever feel those feelings and ask those questions and don't know what to do about them there is help. I know where to send you for that help. This time of year is the most dangerous for me because I spend so much time alone. This last week I came to realize that if something doesn't work out I will miss my next family reunion. That hurts but I do not want to be a burden to anyone and so I may have to stay home. These kinds of realizations are what brings the feelings and questions on. It's not anyone else's fault it's just the way it is. Know this this is not a plea for help it's just me putting it down so I can begin the long process of making it make sense to a brain that doesn't want to have to fight any more. Emotionally I am fine but socially I am not. I have always loved to socialize until the last 10-12 years. Now all I seem comfortable doing is sitting in my room alone and playing games on my computer. Don't feel sorry for me but if you want to help came see me and make me venture out from these four walls that keep me separated from the world I once knew and lived in. I need empathy more than someone to feel sorry for me. If you think this different for me then you may not know or understand anything I have said. This is a daily struggle and some days are better than others. This time of year always makes it much more challenging than any other time. I dread the holidays now at this age because I know how the elderly felt when I was young. Somehow I will find the strength to fight on but you may never know my struggle. Count that as a blessing because life is hard enough by itself. There are some special blessings I have been granted though I rarely get to be around or see them. Remember those that are tied down behind four walls. ViPRZ, major-mark63, Sharpe and 4 others 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
ViPRZ Posted January 3, 2022 Member ID: 2978 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 35 Topic Count: 34 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1656 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 1106 Achievement Points: 26102 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/11/11 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 09/23/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 3, 2022 You are not alone Buddy! That is the best part about this big gaming family. We can go into our games with all these other crazy idiots and forget about all the troubles life is and has been throwing at us. At least for a while. Just know that you have soo much to hold on to and your story is not over yet. I attempted to end my story, way to soon, a couple years back. Now I know I can find at least one thing every day that reminds me just how extremely lucky I am to not have been successful at ending my story too early. Keep writing your story buddy! I'm sure you have many, many, many more chapters that soo many of us, in this big gaming family, are looking forward to reading! We are all rooting for ya brother! Take care of yourself! Sharpe, TheLastColdBeer, major-mark63 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
TheLastColdBeer Posted January 3, 2022 Member ID: 489 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 547 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 4668 Content Per Day: 0.88 Reputation: 5849 Achievement Points: 41028 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 14 Joined: 09/22/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 01/09/1963 Device: Kindle Fire Share Posted January 3, 2022 Viprz is right, find one thing, just one, to make the day worthwhile. This life is a gift, treasure it as a gift, and appreciate everything you've experienced, good and sad. Only one you're going to get Dean. We're not here forever, and this life is over all too soon. BigPapaDean, KaptCrunch, ViPRZ and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Labob Posted January 3, 2022 Member ID: 42 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 50 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 8264 Content Per Day: 1.55 Reputation: 5976 Achievement Points: 53606 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 12 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 9 hours ago Birthday: 01/30/1959 Device: Windows Share Posted January 3, 2022 Live every day like it's your last. Anybody who ever died would give you that piece of advice. KaptCrunch and ViPRZ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
YACCster Posted January 3, 2022 Member ID: 20683 Group: ++ COD4 Admin Followers: 138 Topic Count: 309 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 3345 Content Per Day: 0.88 Reputation: 4086 Achievement Points: 45203 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 22 Joined: 12/12/13 Status: Offline Last Seen: 17 hours ago Device: Macintosh Share Posted January 3, 2022 Just an occasional... return... please... Smeggie and BigPapaDean 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
KaptCrunch Posted January 3, 2022 Member ID: 389 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 45 Topic Count: 295 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 4455 Content Per Day: 0.84 Reputation: 3617 Achievement Points: 36422 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 39 Joined: 09/14/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: 1 hour ago Birthday: 01/01/1970 Device: Windows Share Posted January 3, 2022 and remember who you left behind in game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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