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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/25/19 in all areas

  1. An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said: "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothin. The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor? "Yep, none of us could get the jar open.
    8 points
  2. As some of you already know I have been in the process of selling the house and moving to the Bay Area. Down scaling a lot, and moving close to family, since a house is just too much and too expensive to maintain for one occupant (yours truly). It is currently in escrow and barring any major issues it closes about the middle of next month. Of course housing prices being what they are condos there can be pricey. But I will own one without a mortgage, which is good. And also being that area prices continually go up for when I sell in the future sometime. After lots of scouting and hunting there is a place I will be putting an offer on. It will be contingent on this one but it gets my name in the hat. I basically have a whole life worth of stuff to decide on whether to keep or not. A lot I already did but there is always more. I wont have a lot of room and I already know I will have to rent a storage place. Hopefully only a small one. More to follow and fingers crossed.
    3 points
  3. I always enjoyed the games when I first learned about the Freezetag games on the XI Servers...played a lot. Massive fun! I resisted getting my voice connected - I have tons of conversation all day, every day, and sometimes I like to be quiet when I'm blowing off steam.....but, I did eventually cave and man, this community is fucking awesome!!! It's a good group of folks and I feel I've made some new friends and want to say thanks for being here. XI Fuckin' Rules!!! D.
    2 points
  4. MordBlack

    lilmordjr

    LilmordJr Graduated today with a couple of awards!! one of them was Warrior of the week award, and I heard a little mouse told me that her teacher made an award for her the Sassy Award LOL... but i think that was for Classroom lol
    2 points
  5. Sweet @Scarlett, that is a gem. You're batting "a thousand" so far. Unlike some other joke posters here. I'm not gonna mention any names, but his initials begin with "Rob" and end in "Mc." @RobMc? Lol. Love ya, man (no not you, Sweet Scarlett--him!), in a, well, you know. Ayaq
    2 points
  6. SGTSmeg

    So yeah....about that

    @AyaqGuyaq you should know, you wrote the book on stalking....where have YOU been the past few years. ? Come on into game sometime, I got something fer ya! Oh and welcome Munky!
    2 points
  7. -Voltage-

    1.8

    Thank you, it worked.
    2 points
  8. Hello DM2 (and DM1) Fans! It's Memorial Day Weekend in the USA. Please remember freedom is never free. Honor all those who have fought and even made the ultimate sacrifice for your freedom. Here are your maps for this long weekend, and the coming week: Small Map Rotation mp_agx_shinu, mp_breakout, mp_crate_yard, mp_cw_abandoned, mp_dome, mp_hhk_yokora, mp_killhouse, mp_meatgrinder, mp_radiorelay, mp_snr_kassel, mp_yuko Medium Map Rotation mp_78hellcatraz, mp_agx_depot1, mp_agxstlo, mp_beuvron, mp_byalistok, mp_cassino5, mp_crossroads, mp_cw_trainwreck, mp_docks, mp_eindhoven2, mp_ict_stone, mp_kneeriver, mp_line_of_fire, mp_mohdv2, mp_nachtzug_2, mp_nightmare, mp_pds, mp_ravine_v1, mp_ship_n, mp_snr_carentan, mp_toujane, mp_wolftown Large Map Rotation mp_78junobeach, mp_aa_vosges_fr, mp_byalistok, mp_ballpark, mp_boulogne, mp_castle, mp_cw_brecourt, mp_downfall, mp_gits_tanks, mp_industrial, mp_lolv2, mp_newhurtgen, mp_panzerfact, mp_renan_bridge, mp_sfrance_nite, mp_southfrance5, mp_stanjel, mp_townville2, mp_vm_brecourt No matter where they happen to be, or when, we all choose our battlefield. Sometimes, sadly, Love Is A Battlefield. Here's Pat Benatar. Anyone else pick up on the Thriller vibe here?
    2 points
  9. Loved watching the dragon melt the iron throne. Dang he was one pissed off dragon!! LOL
    2 points
  10. Sharpe

    1.8

    Check out Jesters post a third of the way down page 1 : https://www.xtremeidiots.com/forums/topic/71924-houston-we-have-a-problem/
    2 points
  11. down2011

    COD4 Ban Appeal

    This appeal and its replies are in a public forum and can be seen by all. What server were you banned from?: >XI< Freeze Tag When did you get banned?: Not sure What was your in-game name?: ES-JAX What is your game GUID (if known): Cant pull up right now Why do you think you were banned?: I have absolutely no idea, I joined and I was banned.
    1 point
  12. Rotation 20a 20 maps sephiroth rot 2 put in 25 05 19 dadda2 map mp_a3_day map mp_bjwifi_toujane map mp_brokenroad map mp_chateau map mp_flemishtown map mp_goodtimes map mp_hammerjacks map mp_hanger map mp_junkyard map mp_meanstreet2 map mp_noobville map mp_pow_rld map mp_psycho map mp_sand_dogs map mp_seatown map mp_rebellion map mp_remagen map mp_run_and_gun map mp_tigertown_v2 map mp_vac_2_snow map mp_vertical server needs restart admin please post this thread when done enjoy
    1 point
  13. MunkyMeat

    So yeah....about that

    Hello everyone. Some of you know me and I am certain alot more do not. I have been lurking about the edges of the community for quite a long while now and am slowly creeping back in. So, I just wanted to say "Sup" to all of you OG types and "Hola" to all of you that do not know me. On that note, kill ya later.......
    1 point
  14. Labob

    COD5 Ban Appeal

    This appeal and its replies are in a public forum and can be seen by all. What server were you banned from?: SEEMS LIKE ALL When did you get banned?: in the last few days What was your in-game name?: I use a few What is your game GUID (if known): all head admins should know it Why do you think you were banned?: Do not know really know do not care. What I do know is I have done nothing wrong and along the lines of doing something bad enough to be banned Never and thats over 10 years. Now to be polite I'm asking that this be lifted. But I thought about being more polite I decided no. I would like to know who and why and soon. But please I suppose would be in order We know how insulting it is to be banned but I'm just OH banned but still please unban me
    1 point
  15. RobMc

    So yeah....about that

    WTF ?? you told me MBA stood for Massive Bear Attacks, graphs ?, memos ??, where do you keep your rifle ??
    1 point
  16. 1 point
  17. TBB

    So yeah....about that

    WELCOME to the Forums - ignore @AyaqGuyaq his girlfriend is a polar bear
    1 point
  18. Sally

    freeze tag 1 map rotation

    server restarted at 16.46pm thank you dadda.
    1 point
  19. dadda2

    ace mod map rotation

    Rotation 13 21 maps put in rotation 25 05 19 dadda2 map mp_abandoned_zoo map mp_gvft map mp_infi_v16 map mp_kaunas map mp_lalus_gonefishin map mp_lumberyard map mp_modernbacklot map mp_noobville map mp_opcenter4 map mp_pic map mp_pursuit map mp_remagen map mp_rvs_warehouse_f1 map mp_sgpko_lil map mp_sm_3 map mp_storm map mp_tehaleh map mp_thehunt_final map mp_twin2 map mp_village_s map mp_xi_islandv2 server will need restart admin please post this thread when done enjoy
    1 point
  20. dadda2

    ace mod map rotation

    server restarted 16.02 uk time running ok from my end
    1 point
  21. Aha! Well after five days of avoiding the spoilers (since I was in Germany - found you can't get HBO GO), I guessed it - Bran would be king! Some things I didn't expect, some yes! Overall, I great series though! Melting the iron throne was a great scene, start of a new era!
    1 point
  22. LtLaszlo

    2019-05-25 Birthdays

    Happy Birthday!!
    1 point
  23. Sally

    COD4 Ban Appeal

    Which server was it. Freeze Tag1or MW2.
    1 point
  24. Sally

    So yeah....about that

    Hi welcome to the forums
    1 point
  25. FRENCHI

    2019-05-25 Birthdays

    happy b day
    1 point
  26. AyaqGuyaq

    So yeah....about that

    Damn, you sound like a "stalker." You can stalk the guys, but you gotta leave the Lovely Ladies of >XI< be. Lol? Stalker, creeping and lurking about . . . Ayaq
    1 point
  27. J3st3r

    Where is my golden dildo?

    @Unchileno stole the Dildo.
    1 point
  28. BUDMAN

    COD4 Ban Appeal

    After A lengthy discussion with the admin team we have decided to lift the ban. You need to follow the CODE OF CONDUCT as everyone else . XI is an adult clan with no prohibitions on use of language except for two primary rules: no racist remarks, and no personal attacks. You need to check your sensitive feelings at the door when you come here: if you don't like it, don't look at it or don't comment on it. If you believe someone has broken one of our rules, let an admin know and we will take action as needed. We also do not tolerate cheating or disrespect by members or guests, and insist on good sportsmanship. Violations can lead to permanent bans. We play for fun, we play with honor, and we strive to treat each other with respect and consideration. No one, member or guest, is above our Code. There will be no second chances, next infaction will result in a permanent BAN!! BUDMAN
    1 point
  29. AthenA

    Prayers

    She's already in mine as well and I know how hard it is for mom's heart !
    1 point
  30. i mean whats stopping you from rubbing one out to some files
    1 point
  31. I'll try to remember to add that to my next post. I might have overlooked that part.
    1 point
  32. Roxy!

    Prayers

    She is already in my prayers Giggles.
    1 point
  33. WldPenguin

    lilmordjr

    Congrats, lilmord! ?
    1 point
  34. Roxy!

    lilmordjr

    Congrats Lil!!! ? I´m so happy for you ... mom and dad must be really proud of you!! Great Job girl!!!
    1 point
  35. ANGU5

    lilmordjr

    Congrats to her..Good job...! And sassy,, lol always good..
    1 point
  36. roadkill

    lilmordjr

    congrats. now stop shooting me.....??
    1 point
  37. J3st3r

    lilmordjr

    CONGRATS @lilmordjr Now get your butt back ingame and thaw me. Sassy Award? No way man not lilmordjr. She's so polite ingame that I feel bad for shootin her. ?
    1 point
  38. Brimmah! was lookin for ya last night. lol
    1 point
  39. I expected other ending I'm a little disappointed? feels unsatisfied, I demand season 9
    1 point
  40. WldPenguin

    COD4 Ban Appeal

    Kyniek, thank you for your appeal. Please be patient while the admins sort this out.
    1 point
  41. Scarlett

    Foul Mouth

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives......... "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
    1 point
  42. 1 point
  43. 1 point
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