Dogg

I would like to wish my XI family a Very Merry Christmas.  If you have to travel, be safe and careful. And watch out for the real idiots out there.
 
P.S. 
  If Dallas says 'come here I wanna show you something', go you'll have a blast.  🤣

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, “Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?”

Walked into my house Friday night and my wife was gone and a note nailed to the wall said. “We have your wife, if you want to see her again alive, we want £1,000,000, do not call the police, we are very determined. Await a phone call.” l tell you what? They weren’t joking about being determined! Since Saturday morning I’ve had 72 missed calls...

LOL After the stuff that's been on this screen you ain't gonna hurt it
 

LOL After the stuff that's been on this screen you ain't gonna hurt it
 

LOL After the stuff that's been on this screen you ain't gonna hurt it
 

Long time no see Nancy.
Sure miss ole Davey.
 

Little Johnny went to a horse auction with his father, and watched, in fascination, as his father ran his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. His father did this with several horses, and Little Johnny finally asked why he was doing that.
“I’m thinking about buying a horse, and before I do, I want to check it out thoroughly.” his dad told him.
A worried look came onto Little Johnny’s face, and he exclaimed “Hey, Daddy, I think the mailman’s going to buy Mom!”Little Johnny again
 

Little Johnny went to a horse auction with his father, and watched, in fascination, as his father ran his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. His father did this with several horses, and Little Johnny finally asked why he was doing that.
“I’m thinking about buying a horse, and before I do, I want to check it out thoroughly.” his dad told him.
A worried look came onto Little Johnny’s face, and he exclaimed “Hey, Daddy, I think the mailman’s going to buy Mom!”Little Johnny again
 

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?”
The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there, but I can’t carry this lot.”
The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”
“Why thank you very much,” he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says “Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?”
The farmer said, “Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”
The old lady replied, “Set the goose down, cover her with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

Little Johnny went to a horse auction with his father, and watched, in fascination, as his father ran his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. His father did this with several horses, and Little Johnny finally asked why he was doing that.
“I’m thinking about buying a horse, and before I do, I want to check it out thoroughly.” his dad told him.
A worried look came onto Little Johnny’s face, and he exclaimed “Hey, Daddy, I think the mailman’s going to buy Mom!”Little Johnny again
 

Little Johnny went to a horse auction with his father, and watched, in fascination, as his father ran his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. His father did this with several horses, and Little Johnny finally asked why he was doing that.
“I’m thinking about buying a horse, and before I do, I want to check it out thoroughly.” his dad told him.
A worried look came onto Little Johnny’s face, and he exclaimed “Hey, Daddy, I think the mailman’s going to buy Mom!”Little Johnny again