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Posted (edited)

College Football Analysis from Coach Steve Foglio

 

 

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact,

 

I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

___________________________________________

 

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

 

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

___________________________________________

 

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

 

Drool.

___________________________________________

 

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

 

None. That's a sophomore course.

___________________________________________

 

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

 

The cow fell on him.

___________________________________________

 

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.

 

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

 

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

___________________________________________

 

A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

 

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

 

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

 

What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

 

"Will the defendant please rise."

___________________________________________

 

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

 

The police officer.

___________________________________________

 

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

 

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

___________________________________________

 

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

 

A full set of teeth.

___________________________________________

 

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;

 

the other half will have to dress themselves.

___________________________________________

 

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?

 

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

___________________________________________

 

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

 

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

___________________________________________

 

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

 

Pay him for the pizza.

___________________________________________

 

What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?

 

Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

[/indent] [/indent]

Edited by RD

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