ANDY ROONEY ON SEX

[WolfTiS]

 

 

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big dick

or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.

 

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from

the condom factory.

 

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for

sex.....she objects.

 

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying...."No hard

feelings"

 

5. There are only two four letter words that are

offensive to men -

'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used

together.

 

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to

the best thing on earth.

 

7. There are three stages in a man's life:

Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and

Try Weakly.

 

8. Virginity can be cured.

 

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of

opportunity.

 

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't

have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

 

11. I tried phone sex once....but the holes in the

dialer were too small.

 

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep

with the enemy.

 

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?

Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down

under.

 

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole

thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy

with the Thing.

 

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in

a man's life?

Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife

doesn't.

 

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make

eye contact?

Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

 

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles

to bed'.....many men still sleep with their wives!

[KnightKiller]

Lol that was great  ... keep them comming wolf