owens

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lol

Yeah just read up on how to get avatars and was playing with a few just to see if i could figure it out, lmao

lol funny as hell

Angel

lol    mean but funny    lmao

 wow, thats one hot sig you have there lol

Lol

Nicely done, thanks a bunch Merlin

Looks awesome thanks !

The XI titantic map, although it is kool, it is a horrible freeze tag map, and the new snowmen map rocks, very nicely done

woot, thanks

Just played this map for the first time, wow, awesome job. Best map Ive seen in the game. Well done.

I,m not picky, just something kool and manly I suppose , I do have an affinity for harley davidsons and skulls though

lol

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back and said,

"OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".

A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and 2 black eyes. "What happened to you?" asked the doctor. "Well it all started when my wife and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field. When we went to investigate, I saw the ball in a cow's ass. I went and lifted the tail of the cow and that's when I made my mistake." The doctor looked puzzled and asked, "What mistake was that?"

"I said 'Hey this looks like yours hun!'"

There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses." She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, "Do you have "Two Lips and Seven Kisses?"

The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, "No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!"

So the woman asked, "Is this a record?"

To which the man replied, "No, its average!"

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"

To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants".

Just wondering if anyone can make me a simple sig. I have never had one and figured it was time I had one but I dont have a clue on how to make one.

lol nice

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.. Send me back!'St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?''Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm gonna explode!''You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?''Never,' said Ed. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg; his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife say..."Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Chili is using a pocket dictionary, he doesnt speak authentic espanol. More like trucker spanish in a sense. Nice to see you posting in the forums Kilo. Nice to see you to come to the darkside master luke. 

I dont know whether he hacks or not, but my opinion is he doesnt only because he is good on some maps and others he doesnt do as well. Everyone has good days and bad days, and we all have maps that we do good on and maps we flat out suck at. Not to mention  most of how well you do has to do with who else is on your team, if you have a good team that communicates and is competant and you dont have to constantly stop and thaw people out thus getting low kill numbers. Your ping, and the quality of your pc versus others. a persons play style ie camping, run and gun, noob toobing there are so many different factors . I,m been drinking and just rambling, but oh well, i lost my train of thought, afk grabbing another few shots of Jack Daniels Gentleman Jack :PAs far as aimbots, if he was using aimbots, he wouldnt die as much as he does some folks are more cautious and hang back utilizing cover and some run around like me jumping and diving and running around like a midget with Attention deficit disorder

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"