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Subject:Cardiovascular Questions and Answers
 
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise canprolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it, don't waste them away on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying youcan extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Takea nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meatand eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What doesa cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothingmore than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Needgrain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended dailyallowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad forme?

A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruitsand vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world intothree categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer andwine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, sothat only leaves one thing, right?

My advice: Have a burger anda beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate mybody/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat,your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one,etc.

Q: What are some of theadvantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophyis: No Pain………Good!

Q: If I stop smoking, will Ilive longer?

A: Nope. Smoking is a sign ofindividual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stressyourself to death in record time.

Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're notlistening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad foryou?

Q: What's the secret tohealthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a littlesoft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When youexercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you wanta bigger stomach.

 

I hope this columnhas cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about eating and exercising.


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