HappyMike

Hi, I have been playing on the COD4 servers and thought Ishould say “hi” My name is Mike, I have 2 girls and a wonderful wife( I married “up” in life,, and she got me, so if you see her please be nice) Q/A My 1st computer was a Commodore 64, first games CastleWolfenstein, Alien and Wizardry. And now I play COD4. What’s the worstplace for a “xtremeidiots gamer” to hit on you? -My Butt What’s the worst KILL/FROZENline you’ve ever heard? -<game> “HAPPYMIKE FROZE HIMSELF WITH A NADE” -“HappyMike is on ownteam” What’s the best ormost creative KILL/FROZEN line you’ve ever heard? -“One Clip, One Kill” (and a line I don’t get to say much) What approach ismost likely to work with you? -“What to Play … Big Boy” What signals do yougive to “xtremeidiots gamers” when you want them to make the first move? -I move from span area Have you ever beenin a situation when two "xtremeidiots gamers” competed for your attentionat the same time? -Everyone has KILL/FROZEN me …. What are yourbiggest turn-ons? -Hot Tamales - Pretzels - Popcorn (extra Butter), - a cold beer What are yourbiggest turn-offs? - Being knifed when I’m KILL/FROZEN - no one is on the COD4servers "Give a man a blanket, and you keep him warm throughthe winter. Set a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of hislife."

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30 something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, 'Would you like to buy some peaches?' She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, 'Are they as firm as this?'He nodded his head and said, 'Yes ma'am,'' and a little tear ran from his eye.Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, 'Are they nice and pink like this?' The farmer said, Yes,' and another tear came from the other eye. she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, 'Are they as fuzzy as this?'He again said, 'Yes,' and broke down crying. She asked, 'Why on earth are you crying?' Drying his eyes he replied, ''The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get fucked out of my peaches.'

As a Bagpiper, I play many funeral gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Virginia back-country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full. As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus," I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbed More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria Found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.. However, We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) Because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, Than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service!