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Posted

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confident ti his wife:

- I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughtout our whole mariage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one women, but I've slept with dozen of them.

His wife looked at him calmly and said:

- Why do you think I gave you the poison?



  • Member ID:  3096
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Posted

Jennifer Love Hewitt & Jennifer Aniston were in a parking lot of Hollywood studios trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.

They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't!

Jennifer Aniston stopped for a moment to catch her breath.

Jennifer Love Hewitt said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."



  • Member ID:  3096
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Posted

Charlize Theron bought a new convertible.

One day she was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

Charlize said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"



  • Member ID:  3096
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Posted

Picture it:

Rural area, Sunday morning, church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.

The doors burst open, and a black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst.

People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming - all except for two.

One is the Pastor, the other is an elderly farmer.

Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to the Pastor and says,

- You! I can understand why you didn't run away, you are in your Lord's house, you preach against me everyday and you aren't afraid of me. But YOU (points to the farmer), why didn't you run out scared like everyone else?

The farmer crosses one leg over the other and drawls,

- Why, I'm surprised you don't recognize me...I've been married to your sister for 36 years!



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Posted
:hrhr: those are all good..


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Posted

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours.

- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour.

As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:

- Gorgonzola!

- Wait, it is not on yet.



  • Member ID:  3096
  • Group:  ***- Inactive Clan Members
  • Followers:  26
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Posted

Two friends (idiots):

- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?

- Of course! How many people are coming?

- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.



  • Member ID:  3096
  • Group:  ***- Inactive Clan Members
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  • Joined:  12/30/11
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  • Birthday:  04/03/1974
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Posted

A little boy asked his mother:

- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?

- Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.


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