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Posted

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful,” he said. “Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They’re going to stick! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt!”
The wife stared at him, “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”

 

 

and 

 

 

 

A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.
He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. “Who’s the boss around here?” he asked.
“I am.” said the man.
“I have a black horse and a brown horse,” the farmer said, “which one would you like?”
The man thought for a minute and said, “The black one.”
“No, no, no, get the brown one,” the man’s wife said.
“Here’s your chicken,” said the farmer.


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