The First Thanksgiving

[Smithers]

     Once upon a time in America, there were two football teams,

the Redskins and the Patriots. They occupied the same football

field but each played and practiced on different days and never

had joint practices. Neither team liked the fact that their field was

being shared.  Each thought the field should be exclusively theirs

and the other should find or make a field elsewhere. One day, a

Patriots coach happened to spot a Redskins assistant leaving
the field and told him that the Patriots would like to challenge the
Redskins for exclusive rights to the football field. The assistant went
and told his coach and they agreed to have a game arranged in late

November. Prior to the game, both players and coaches from each

team were very anxious since a loss would mean they'd have to leave

and find another field to call their own. The game fell on a Thursday in

the last week of November.  It was snowing, windy and freezing but the

Patriots coach was prepared for the inclement weather by wearing his

lucky hoodie. The Redskins having been used to the change in seasons

just added more layers of skins and fur for protection. These proved to

be the deciding factors in the Redskins unquestionable victory. The result

of the game was a blowout in favor of the Redskins.  The Redskins ground

game totally dominated the Patriots "Militia" defense and the Patriots fiery

aerial assault was blown away by the blustering winds with Colonel Brady

being virtually decapitated by the Redskins "Tomahawk" defense. Alas, the

score was not even close to mention.  The Patriots retreated and proceeded

to begin vacating the premises. Before they left, the Redskins coach, however,

seeing how viciously they'd pummeled their opponent, felt remorse and
invited them to share a meal and thank them for the game. Unlike his players,

Coach Belichick of the Patriots chose to pass on the gracious gesture and

declined himself from attending what was later to be known as,

"The First Thanksgiving" dinner, later remarking that "he was never any

good at dinner talk".

[Magnus_1]

That is retarded.