Children and Grandchildren

[Dark Asylumn]

GOD  CREATED CHILDREN   (AND IN THE PROCESS  GRANDCHILDREN)   

    

    

    

    

   

 

 

 

To  those of us who have children in our lives,  

whether they are our  own,  

grandchildren,

nieces,  

nephews,

or students...  

here is something to make you  chuckle.

 

Whenever your children  are out of control,

you can take  comfort from the thought that

even God's  omnipotence did not extend

to His own  children.

 

After creating heaven  and earth,

God created Adam and Eve.  

 

And the first thing he said was  

'  DON'T !'  

 

'Don  't what ? '  

Adam replied.  

 

'Don't  eat the forbidden fruit.'

God  said.  

 

'Forbidden  fruit ?  

We  have forbidden  fruit  ?  

Hey  Eve..we have forbidden  fruit  !  '  

 

 

 

'  No Way  ! '  

'Yes  way  !  '  

 

'Do  NOT eat the fruit ! '  

said God.

 

 

 

 

'Why  ? '  

 

'Because  I am your Father and I said  so  ! '  

God replied,

wondering why He hadn't  stopped

creation after making the elephants  

 

A few minutes  later,  

God  saw His children having an apple break

and  He was ticked  !  

'Didn't I tell you not to eat the  fruit  ? '  

God asked.  

 

 

 

 

 

'Uh  huh,'

Adam replied.  

 

'Then  why did you  ?  '  

said the Father.  

 

'I  don't know,'

said Eve.

'She started  it!  '  

Adam said.  

 

'Did  not  !  '  

'Did  too  !  '  

'DID  NOT  !  '  

 

Having  had it with the two of them,

God's  punishment was that Adam and Eve

should have  children of their own.

Thus the pattern was  set and it has never  changed.  

 

If  you have persistently and lovingly tried to give  children wisdom and they haven't taken it,  

don't be hard on yourself.

 

If God  had trouble raising children,

what makes you  think it would be

a piece of cake for you  ?  

 

THINGS  TO THINK ABOUT  !

 

1.  You spend the first two years of their life  

teaching them to walk and talk. Then you  spend

the next sixteen telling them to sit  down and shut up.  

 

2.  Grandchildren are God's reward

for not  killing your own  children.  

 

3.  Mothers of teens now know why

some animals  eat their young.

 

4. Children seldom  misquote you.

In fact,

they usually  repeat word for word

what you shouldn't have  said  

 

5.  The main purpose of holding children's parties  

is to remind yourself that there are  children

more awful than your  own  

 

6.  We childproofed our homes,

but they are  still getting in.

 

ADVICE  FOR THE DAY:

 

Be nice to your kids.  

They will choose your

nursing home one  day  

 

AND  FINALLY:  

 

IF  YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION

AND YOU GET A  HEADACHE,

DO WHAT IT SAYS

ON THE ASPIRIN  BOTTLE:  

 

 

 

'TAKE  TWO ASPIRIN'

AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM  CHILDREN'!!!!!

 

Quick,  

send this on to ten people

within the  next five minutes.

Nothing will happen if  you don't,

but if you do,  

ten  people will be laughing 

 

 

[BANNPIRE]

amen