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Posted (edited)

I have found the key out of Purgatory and now it can be yours for one low price. Dec. 21 marks the conclusion of the 5,125-year Mayan calendar. The world will end. We all will die. But will you be reunited with your ancestors?

The lives of seven billion people will be snuffed out in an instant. Many will got straight to hell but most are destined for life eternal in heaven. If you're among them, you face a long, long wait in Purgatory as billions are processed by St. Peter.

But you don't have to wait.

In a trip to Mexico in 1995, we took a side trip to Chichen Itza where I entered the El Castillo pyramid and stood before The Jaguar Throne. There, I saw that mud had fallen on the alter and I wiped it clean. For my good deed, I received a message - an incantation that releases one immediately out of Purgatory and into the arms of loved ones who await us on the golden streets, harps in hand, halos at the ready.

For a mere $10,000, this secret can be your's. Don't suffer Purgatory with hundreds of millions of babies constantly screaming for their mommies, or billions of the unwashed all begging for their ticket through the Pearly Gates. Act now, and you'll be taken up in an instant.

Satisfactiorn guaranteed - PayPal accepted.

 

PS: Of course, I'll be dead too and unable to spend the money, but that's not the point. When I cleaned the Jaguar Throne, the voices said "for this sacrifice, we give you the incantation which will release you from purgatory at the end times." I replied, "Most generous and I thank you but may I share this with others?" And the voices said "only if they, too, make a sacrifice." What sacrifice will they have to make, I then asked. And the voices said, "Oh, about 10 large ought to do it." As to the guarantee, if it doesn't work you would have to take that up with Montezuma.

Edited by SgtHarryWeezer


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Posted (edited)

That reminds me of the priest who said to the town people need 1,000.000 dollars to put in the church tower to save them,by end of the week on friday,the preist and money was gone on saturday mornin lol :gathering:

Edited by jimboom

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