Ducky asked how the FuckYou Command should work. I gave that a lot of thought but couldn't come up with a good answer but as luck would have it, I was due for my annual confession at the Lizard Lick Catholic Church of the Most Blessed Holy Redeemer. So I asked.
ME: "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a year since my last confession."
PRIEST: "You shouldn't store up sins for a year at a time. It'll give you the shits. So what sins have you committed since last year?"
ME: "Well, I've been pretty good in the sin department father except that I repeatedly find myself choking the chicken."
PRIEST: "Why would you do that to a harmless bird?"
ME: "No, you misunderstand father. I was slapping the radish, flicking the dog, whipping the willy. You know, jerking the gerkin."
PRIEST: "What in the hell are you talking about my son?"
ME: "Father, for god's sake, I was greasing the bishop."
PRIEST: "Oh, now I got ya. I have to do the same thing every week. I have to grease the bishop with 10 percent of the take from passing the plate under threat of excommunication."
ME: "No father. I mean I've been masturbating at least three times a week and twice on Sundays."
PRIEST: "Well stop dong that. You'll go blind and grow hair on your hands. Say 26 Holy Marys and dip your dick in the holy water on the way out."
ME: "Thank you father but before I leave, a question please."
PRIEST: "Ask, and yee shall receive."
ME: "How should the Fuck You command work?"
PRIEST: "Excuse me?"
ME: "Xtreme Idiots wants to know how the Fuck You command should work in game?"
PRIEST: "My son we should not tell others that we would like to have intercourse with them particularly when they're engaged in monopoly or checkers. Now which extreme idiots are you talking about, the members of the United States Congress?"
ME: "No no father. Sitting Duc asked us..."
PRIEST: "WAIT! Sitting-Duc? Do you mean the same Sitting-Duc from over in Somerset across the pond?"
ME: "I guess so father."
PRIEST: "The same Sitting-Duc who was an alter boy who would drink the communion wine every Sunday at St. George's on Billet Street in Taunton?"
ME: "I guess so. I know he's from Taunton."
PRIEST: "Small world. He used to be my little bugger. St. George's was my first church before I came over here to avoid being arrested. He would stay after religious instruction and I'd bugger him in the vestry closet."
ME: "Holy shit."
PRIEST: "Only from Jesus my son. But do give my little ducky a message for me."
ME: "Glad to father."
PRIEST: "Tell him I said fuck you for giving me the AIDS that you caught from playing games with idiots. Now go forth and sin no more."
ME: "Yes father."
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