Bastard of Muppets

Hi, I'm Fritz. I am Mostly Harmless. PS - I might also be called Bastard of Muppets, Obnoxious Bastard, Noisy, or Ratty. There's a story behind each one of these, but I'm old and I forgot most of them. I'm from Baltimore, Maryland, USA, but not by choice. That just happens to be where I was violently removed from my mother. I currently live in Satan's Urethra, Pennsylvania, USA, and I'm dying to get out. If anyone in Germany feels like sponsoring a 43 year old student, hit me up. I have cats; one of them is named Booger. I had a dog named Beavis, but he got sick and old and I don't want to talk about that anymore. I'm trying to get my wife some kind of sainthood, lord title, a medal, or something for putting up with my nonsense for 16 years. We have no kids because we ARE kids. My favorite topics of discussion are ME, MYSELF, balding guys named Fritz with cats, and history. I have an A.S. in Health and Physical Education. I'm still in school majoring in Sports Management (for now) which means I will probably be a barista or burger flipper when I grow up. Musically, if it's not Viking Metal or Rammstein, I don't want to hear it. PPS - Ask me anything. I have nothing to hide except bodies.