NickTheGrip Posted December 16, 2010 Member ID: 177 Group: ***- Inactive Clan Members Followers: 16 Topic Count: 145 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1669 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 281 Achievement Points: 10581 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/02/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: June 27, 2023 Birthday: 05/08/1961 Posted December 16, 2010 In honor of my impending divorce, which, now the 6 month cooling off period has finally ended, here are a few choice comments on the institution of marriage (not sure if that means it is an institution, or you should be in one for doing it) BTW, having been married 3 times I feel somewhat qualified to speak on this matter. Some are old - some are new: Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Marriage requires a man to prepare 3 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. It's true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married! There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere! There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!" Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present. A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke. A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. -- Helen Rowland Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?" His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life." The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?" UNIQUE MARRIAGE COUNSELING After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless. The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!" The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays." Awards
Blackbart Posted December 16, 2010 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Posted December 16, 2010 Isn't love grand?...Then why get married and spoil it... Awards
Artimus Prime Posted December 17, 2010 Member ID: 645 Group: ++ COD2 Admin Followers: 19 Topic Count: 38 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 710 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 312 Achievement Points: 4328 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/26/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Sunday at 10:16 PM Birthday: 04/19/1960 Device: Windows Posted December 17, 2010 Bart, Does your wife know you wrote that??? I might have to tell....... Artimus Awards
Blackbart Posted December 17, 2010 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Posted December 17, 2010 Artimus Prime Bart, Does your wife know you wrote that??? I might have to tell....... Artimus If you do tell at least wait until after she gives me my Christmas gift...LOL... Awards
Malificent Posted December 17, 2010 Member ID: 38 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 0 Topic Count: 92 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1255 Content Per Day: 0.22 Reputation: 3 Achievement Points: 7228 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: Never Birthday: 11/06/1971 Posted December 17, 2010 Hey now MEN! I've been married twice...and I have something to say! It goes both ways! I was bitter for a long time. Then..... Well I won't get sappy on your asses....
BudSr Posted December 17, 2010 Member ID: 5 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 11 Topic Count: 359 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 2475 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 242 Achievement Points: 16234 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: January 25, 2020 Birthday: 02/02/1966 Posted December 17, 2010 i always tell mrs, Bud my second wife that my third wife will be a man.
Blackbart Posted December 17, 2010 Member ID: 51 Group: Fallen Members Followers: 51 Topic Count: 342 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 5974 Content Per Day: 1.04 Reputation: 3766 Achievement Points: 45818 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/09 Status: Offline Last Seen: October 27, 2021 Birthday: 06/26/1949 Posted December 17, 2010 Actually I am very happily married and more content that I ever thought I would be and it only took two tries to get it right...I have a brother that is on wife number 6 and with his luck I wouldn't bet against there being a number 7... Awards
SGTDANKO Posted December 17, 2010 Member ID: 3214 Group: **- Inactive Registered Users Followers: 27 Topic Count: 206 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 2362 Content Per Day: 0.49 Reputation: 50 Achievement Points: 14004 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/21/12 Status: Offline Last Seen: July 4, 2015 Birthday: 06/23/1981 Posted December 17, 2010 i would i bet there is a number six -edit number 7 doh!!!!!!!!!!
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