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Posted

Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, that I had an elephant?

 

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now)

 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass and a car hit me.

 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.



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Posted

That is the funniest shit i've read in awhile. I don't believe it, but the imagination is brilliant ! I laughed myself to tears .



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Posted

I thought it was pretty damn funny also.



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Posted

Thats pretty good Wolftities...I got into trouble for licking my ass once too.Undecided..lmao



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Posted

lmao,as long as you dont start licking every one elses asses should keep you out ta trouble chilliLaughingLaughing



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Posted

LMAO at chilli and savegsam.....LaughingLaughingLaughing



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Posted

I thought it may have been you were chasing cars and got struck!  Nice one Tis

 

-Shadow


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