BigPapaDean

There are times when I struggle because I feel others want to intrude into my space. I can't exactly put a finger on it but I feel that way. Some are aggressive others are well lets just say they are not invited into my space. I have a tendency to give my of myself but there are times I am very reserved and quiet! I wish they were as perceptive as I am about my intrusion into others space. You see this seems to always happen just when I am beginning to feel very good and positive! I wish I co...

As a child growing up I had lots of free time for myself. My favorite passtime was hunting and fishing. The greatest benefit from this was to see the creation up close and personal. I saw all kinds of things from how loving creatures are with their young to how hard life is for them. Over the years I learned that just because you grow up in a shielded and protected home doesn't mean you won't have to face the hardships of life also. You see when times are hard and you are down and out you can...

It feels so good to be back in control of my life as much as can be that is. It doesn't feel good to loose control and now that I have regained control I will proceed with steps to get myself back to a normal life style! I need a car which I am in the process of procuring but it may take a month or two, but it will happen. I then will be well back on the road to normalcy for me. There are some other things I am working on as well. Though they are not quite as crucial for me yet they must be d...

Life in my opinion is the most precious gift we have. It gives us so many privileges and choices to experience the joys and thrills as well as the failures and disappointments as we live our lives. Having said this there are things worse than death. Very few never-the-less they do exist. Those few things are not for me to mention but just make those that don't understand that it is true. I once had the horrible opportunity to see one of those things that was worse than death itself. I am and...

I have learned that even when you have loads to say sometimes it's better to say nothing at all. Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Yet there are times that you need to speak! The difficulty is ascertaining when either is the right time!

There are days when it should be a glorious day what with the warm sunshine the fresh smell of spring in the crisp cool air, but for some unknown reason to the mind it feels like a dark frightening day from the underworld. It seems this is happening with regularity at this time and I don't have any reason using logic to explain why. I know why it happens but I can't explain or even conger a reason as to the when. I can be in a large crowd and feel totally separated and detached. I am familiar...

I just want to hide!

Have you ever seen the look of desperation? The sound of panic inn the voice of a friend or an acquaintance? How about experiencing the feeling of being completely lost? Even when you are not out on the street, but your electricity was turned off for the winter? If you have ever wondered where your next meal was coming from then you know a little what I am talking about. There are people that experience these things daily plus have no roof over their heads. They also have no food source e...

I often wonder am I the guy that others says, "you are sure stupid"! I think its a reasonable question so I may improve myself!

Have you ever been so frustrated that you just want to scream?

That moment you realize you just opened mouth and insert foot! Lol!

A day without love is a lonely day. Give your love freely and it will return to you a hundred fold! Smile and your love will shine from your heart! When you love you help heal some ones broken heart! Have a wonderful day!

To all my wonderful loving friends HAPPY VALENTINE'S Day!

The struggles I have had really all began with something that somebody who has the disorders I have is something that I have a REAL problem with. You see I have always viewed myself as a big time looser, and as such I loathed myself and blamed myself for all the failures that I have experienced in my life. When I feel this about myself I cannot seem to look myself in the eyes and do two things critical to my self worth. Before I go on there is something those around me seem to think I have a...

As a person I sit and wonder what brought me to where I am and what I am as a man? It occurs to me that every thing I have seen, heard, tasted, smelled, and thought is where I am and what I am as a man. I also believe all my experiences as a human being has had a huge impact on my outlook and my belief system as a spiritual being. When I was a child my father tried his best to teach me to treat others in a manner I would want to be treated. I believe this is why I am so giving of myself today...

Life is far from being perfect but it is good!

I need to breathe and let it go! Just let it go!

I remember as a child growing up on the farm how that you could leave everything out all year and nobody would steal anything. If you were out on the road somewhere and you needed a tool or something to fix something you were welcomed to use anything you needed as long as you put it back where you found it. Then came the time when we were all shocked that one of our own members of the farming community was going around stealing from others while they were gone. The whole idea of trust seemed...

Today I was able to get to meet the most amazing little person in my world. She smiled at me and said "Hi!" I have seen her before and held her and even kissed her , but today she was interacting with me of her own free world. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. Maddie Todd your papa loves you more than you can imagine!

I am fine, but today was a rocky road! For now I will wait and see what happens!

That time when you realize it hurts just to think!

Friends and loved ones there is a part of my life most of you do not know. I am a online gamer and have been for several years as my health and knees have gotten to the point I needed something to keep my mind sharp and active. About 5 years ago while I was gaming with no thought about what was to happen to me over the next 2 years I met someone who has become since then a very special part of my life. She has 3 children and she lost her husband so she has her hands full most days just dealin...

Sometimes all is not as it seems!

Trust. Another word so misinterpreted! trust is earned but sometimes blindly given without any kind of relationship to build trust. Trust is learning to believe someone has your best interest at heart. It is a very important part of any relationship whether it is personal at any level such as a man and woman come together, or a father son, or mother daughter, and even friends. It has it's place even in business. How can you have anything special with anyone without trust. You need trust to kn...

Respect! Respect is a word few seem to understand these days. As such the world we live in has embroiled it self in conflict and destruction. Those lacking in its properties are demanding to be respected. It is one of few things abstract that is both earned and given. If you want to be respected then you must be respectful. People today seem to think that power brings them respect. I have seen many powerful men and women that controlled many peoples lives but had very little respect for those...