Wizid, I understand what you are going through I lost my mother in 2003 to suicide and she was my best friend. I still dont understand the reasons she done what she done because my oldest dauther was her world. Even though we dont understand everything or even the reasons they done it we still have to know that they loved us and they will send us signs. I receive signs all the time from my mother It use to be that my youngest daughter would tell us that she come to sit with them at night while they slept and the day she died there was alot of lady bugs around her house and now when I am feeling down or really thinking about her I see a lady bug and it just brightens up my day. I think about her daily as I am sure you think about your son daily and if you will stop and look there is probably some kind of sign around that you will notice every time you start feeling down about him you will start seeing it more and more. Happy Birthday RayRay! RIP