Got another 1 for ya Beer. I was a little kid when my grandfather retired. I found this plague with this poem on it so I bought it for him.
RETIRED
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when of its own accord,
From my tousers it would spring,
But now I have a full time job,
To find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave,
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
As old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its withered head,
and watch me tie my shoes
Good ol' grandfather (god rest his soul) got a good chuckle out of that