I_AM_CANADIAN

I blame the entire thing squarely on MORON... or perhaps deerhunter...

Hey there everyone - I'm Marty, AKA I_AM_CANADIAN I've been playing on the XI servers for what seems like an eternity, whether it be COD4, COD WaW, the Battlefield series and I'm sure some that I've forgotten about. Recently I've been spending more time (when I can get a space LOL) in the XI freezetag server on COD WaW, and I have to say that there are a great bunch of guys/gals in there who know how to relax and just have fun! I am a married 42 y/o male from Nova Scotia Canada (find Maine on the map and then look for the penis shaped object jutting out into the Atlantic Ocean to the NW) who enjoys shooting MORON_6 in my spare time :-D We've known each other for a few years now, and to be honest he is how I discovered the freezetag server. So I owe you my gratitude MORON for sharing a wonderful group of people with me - and for any of you who might dislike me for whatever reason - BLAME HIM LOL. I worked in the oil and gas industry for a number of years (ExxonMobil) however my trade is upholstery. I moved back here to the East Coast in 2004 and opened my own on-site furniture repair business, and once I was self employed, I never looked back. I am married, a homeowner, and I have many hobbies such as working around the yard, woodworking, building collector muscle cars from scratch (my most recent was a 1968 pontiac firebird 400 shortblock 4spd) and in the winter I am huddled in my office shooting people online - when my wife doesn't have busywork for me to do of course :-) I hope to make many friends within the XI family, and thanks to all of you who have made gaming so enjoyable and relaxing again.

And finally... On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called Barack Obama a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him. I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that. I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country. I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons. I'm sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice. I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Lover Boy, the song from Sheriff that ends with the high pitched end note, your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain. And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this, because, we've seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with. For Canadians everywhere, I'm Martin, I'm Canadian. And I'm sorry.

And if that wasn't enough... Note: I by no means mean to offend any Christians. This is meant in a humour way only. Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for 6 days. Eventually Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the 7th day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards, through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it EARTH and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to the different parts of EARTH, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there, I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people." God continued, pointing to different countries, "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large landmass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God, "That's Canada, the most glorious place on EARTH. There's beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast-line. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there will be balance?" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them."

GAWWWDDD... you guys need to try harder, COME ON!!!!! 50 Fahrenheit (10 C) New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens. 40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C) Californians shiver uncontrollably Canadians Sunbathe. 35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C) Italian Cars won't start Canadians drive with the windows down 32 Fahrenheit (0 C) Distilled water freezes Canadian water gets thicker. 0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians have the last cookout of the season. -40 Fahrenheit (-40 C) Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos. -60 Fahrenheit (-51 C) Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door. -100 Fahrenheit (-73 C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole Canadians pull down their earflaps. -173 Fahrenheit (-114 C) Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. -459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "cold, eh? " -500 Fahrenheit (-295 C) Hell freezes over. The Leafs win the Cup