Thats one way of escaping a speeding ticket

[LadyIngvild]

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 150kph, enjoying the wind blowing what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the expressway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

 

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 180kph, then 200, then 250kph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

 

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. It's Christmas. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

 

The man looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

 

"Have a good day, Sir" said the policeman.

[Lazy House Cat]

My brother in law, an Episcopal Chaplain,  had a small parish in a little town in Arkansas.   One of his parishioners was a little old lady with a big old Dodge Charger.  Apparently she could barely see over the steering wheel.  One day another parishioner, a Sheriff's Deputy, pulled her over doing 100 mph (~160 kph), on the highway.  She told the deputy that she took the car to the garage for a tune up.   Since she literally only drove to Church on Sunday, the mechanic told her that it would be a good idea to take the car onto the highway every so often and "blow it out".   The little old lady told the deputy that she was "blowing the car out" per her mechanic's instructions.