Old jokes for old people

[RobMc]

Mary Kate Danaher, a spry 85-year-old widow, went on a blind date with Sean Thornton, a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, her daughter thought that her mother seemed rather upset. “What happened?” the daughter asked. “You look as if you are upset after your date.” “I had to slap his face three times!” Mary Kate replied. “You mean he got fresh with you?” the daughter asked. “No, not at all, I thought the old codger was dead!”

Sean and Mary are their 70’s; they have been courting and are discussing marriage. Mary says, “I want to keep my house.” Sean replied, “That’s fine with me.” Mary says, “I want to keep my Cadillac.” Sean replies, “That’s also fine with me.” Mary then adds, “I want to have sex 6 days a week.” Sean replies, “Put me down for Wednesday”.

Two elderly friends, Dot and Pia, hadn’t seen each other in a while, but met while shopping. Dot inquired, “And how is your husband?” “Oh! Richard died last week.” He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!” Dot was shocked by the news and said, “Oh dear! I am so very sorry. What did you do?” Pia replied, “I opened a can of peas instead.”

 

[Dot80]

HaHaHa you still make me laugh