3rdCdnInfty

The newly-weds are in their honeymoon suite and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on." The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers." "And don't forget that" he replies, "I will always wear the trousers in this family!" The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!" He replies, "I can't get into your knickers!" "And you never will if you don't change your attitude."

lol haha, another funny video lol, good one

lol, Thanks guys, yeah being a whore is great haha and the jokes will keep on coming. 3rd.

lmao haha, that is fucked , funny video man

I finally made it to 1000, today I become a post whore, I join the ranks of some great whores, it feels good. 3rd.

haha lmoa, thats a good one Deejay lol

Happy Birthday

You wonder why there isn't a hairstyle called "The Hat Line." The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old. You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener. You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug. The strongest smell in your house is butane. Your dog passes gas and you claim it. You think paprika is a Third World country. You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in." None of your shirts cover your stomach. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath." You judge drive time solely by the number of beers you need to take. Your home has more miles on it than your car. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. You think the stock market has a fence around it. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater. You own a homemade fur coat. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos". You think a chain saw is a musical instrument. You've ever given rat traps as gifts. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. You've totaled every car you've ever owned. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape. You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. What's the difference between Metro zoo and a Redneck zoo? On the cage in a Metro zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin. A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

haha lol

Welcome to the forums, seen you on the Cod5 servers

990

USAPLISKEN PimpedOutPete dam whore fights... they break out everywhere.. LMFAO 587 lol

A guy comes home to his wife one evening with a big bunch of flowers and she says "I suppose this means I have to get on my back with my legs open for the next three days". The husband says "Why? Don't you have any vases?"

A family are driving in their car on holidays. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out and takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. The frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish. The man says, "Please make my dog win the next dog race." The frog asks to look at the dog, which limps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog only has three legs, it's very fat, and can barely move at all so he tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfil his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish. The man says, "Well, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest in the area. The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. The wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says, "Could I please have another look at the dog?"

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: Cheese Sandwich: - $1.50. Chicken Sandwich: - $2.50. Hand Job: - $10.00. Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am" The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

Happy Birthday, have a good one

wow you really are trying to be a post whore soon lol

but I am closer haha ;P

LittleTooT Gonna be a post whore. lol, your half way there lol

lol haha, wow ;P

Lmao haha, nice man, those do go great together lol, have a good one, happy birthday

Lmao haha, now that's an idiot, someone get his name and ask him to join haha, funny vid man

Congrats guys

Welcome to the Clan guys, your Idiots now, so act like one haha, Coolmd and Madmonk I know you guys from Cod 5, congrats, well deserved right there, congrats to you all and again welcome to the Clan >XI<

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."