Jud1

Welsh!? ... I thought Barack was supposed to be Irish?! Washington was of English decent I believe ...... come to think of it .... don't think I've heard many Americans say "British decent" ..

I've never yet met an American that doesn't always state they are from somewhere else! Though Shamu has at least put "Heritage" rather than, I'm Swedish! The first time I went to the US, I stayed with a friend and we had a "Super Bowl" Party ... loads of guys turn up and my pal Mike shouts to me, do you want another beer? ... after I replied, this guy next to me said .."Whoa, are you a fuckin Limey"?? .. I didnt understand what he meant at the time, anyhow .. yes I'm English ,. oh that's great, thanks a bunch Mike, I get to watch the Superbowl with a fuckin Limey .... Not being one to shy away, I said to him .... you have a problem with the English??? Yeah he says .. I'm fuckin Irish !!! - oh here we go ...., Trying to make lite of a potential I asked him ..how long did you live in Ireland??? .. Oh I didnt .. My Great Great Great Grand (whatever) parents did !!!! Ahhhhhhh I said, sorry, I misunderstood ... I'm Ethiopian!! .. He said "Huh?" So I asked him, how did his Great Great Grandparents get to Ireland? ... He said "Huh"? The defense rests M'lord. ps: Had a great time, though that still ain't FOOTball! and the advert run between maybe amazing to you but we get shit like that every 5 mins DAY IN DAY OUT!!! its an ADVERT! said "Irish" guy is now and has been since, a Great Great friend ...

Its where I started this conversation .. 8000 Brits knowing anything of US history / polotics ... But interesting that Shamu, re: Involvement ... I've heard many stories as to exactly WHY we are there in the 1st place as it happens. from the obvious "Oil" and a pipeline to be built through both countries ... to the control of Opium (it's why the UK owned Hong Kong in 1st place!) and then more recently, I heard about "Lithium" http://www.bgs.ac.uk/afghanminerals/raremetal.htm In my opinion - there's something we're not privy to here that goes way past the risk of being attacked in our own countries! Agreed, bring the boys and girls home and let them kill each other ... and they will, as they have done for forever and a day!

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest, The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety——-WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant.. A two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries), pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’ What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best. I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, Don’t do it stupid,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ……. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD… WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRCCfION. .. WHAT THE …. !!! I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking upon my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself you will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel above the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. and had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return! P.S … My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being an Idiot!I! :)

Do you hear "No I Fucking don't" often? ... My ex-wife was ALWAYS saying that!! Now I have a baby Daughter ... and I'm totally fucked, for LIFE!

Well that's just typical isnt it! ......first you start shooting me, THEN you don't have the $15M to buy the yacht.. it's just one thing after another isnt it ... don't even know why I joined up.. - kicks feet,walks off sulking -

"Also helped that at the time England had irons in the fire all over the world and was going broke fighting wars" Now why does THAT sound so familiar!!!

http://www.businessinsider.com/this-amazing-new-yacht-looks-like-a-space-ship--and-is-controlled-by-an-ipad-2012-4 Drooooooooooool .......

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, noun... It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), o as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mar is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary.) It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to many situations: 1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?" 2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer." 3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!" 4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now." 5. Aggression "FUCK YOU!" 6. Disgust "Fuck me." 7. Confusion "What the fuck.......?" 8. Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!" 9. Despair "Fucked again..." 10. Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier." 11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?" 12. Lost "Where the fuck are we." 13. Disbelief "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!" 14. Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!" 15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it." 16. Perplexity "I know fuck all about it." 17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?" 18. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?" 19. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?" 20. Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here." 21. Directions "Fuck off." 22. Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?" It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole." It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty." It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?" It can be maternal- "Motherfucker." It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!" It has also been used by many notable people throughout history: "What the fuck was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima "Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" General Custer "Thats not a real fucking gun." John Lennon "Who's gonna fucking find out?" Richard Nixon "Heads are going to fucking roll." Anne Boleyn "Any fucking idiot could understand that." Albert Einstein "How the fuck did you work that out?" Pythagoras "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" Michaelangelo "Fuck a duck." Walt Disney "Why?- Because its fucking there!" Edmund Hilary "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" Joan of Arc "Scattered fucking showers my ass." Noah

8000 Brits knowing something about George Washington!? ..... Actually, I find it hard to believe - unless the online poll was at Oxford / Cambridge Uni (etc) and only for Students studing "American History"! (all 300years of it , sorry can not resist that. heh heh) "the worst defeat for the British Empire ever." .. at this time, I think it was the ONLY defeat for the British Empire !!... AND you needed the French (as well as Mel Gibson) .. Shortly afterwards, I believe we started sending our criminals to a warm and tropical climate to live whilst we stayed here in the freezing cold and constantly pissing down with rain tiny little Island we love so much. Known as the "what a bunch of wankers we were" peroid.

DISCUSS????? .... You gotta be shitting me!!!! Anything that has "X and Y" in it followed by the word "Paradigm" is WAY outta my leauge I couldn't figure that shit out 25 years ago and I killed a lot of brain cells since then!

Hiccy Burp day mate! .... all the best people are born in April.

Can't vouch for authenticity http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/11239/the-15-funniest-autocorrects-from-july-2011/ http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/8302/happy-mothers-day-top-10-mom-related-autocorrect-fails/ Sorry if ya seen em before ... just made me laugh

Z "Wanker" To start the down load you might be able to use the any key. LOL http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=keyboard+funny+fuck+you&hl=en&biw=1280&bih=894&tbm=isch&tbnid=SBEJ8yYU8wuV_M:&imgrefurl=http://cslacker.com/images/view/430&docid=5MHfYvpXOFD4pM&imgurl=http://c.cslacker.com/430l.jpg&w=802&h=627&ei=aviKT_jKFoHH0QXFtIHNCQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=200&vpy=161&dur=437&hovh=198&hovw=254&tx=178&ty=121&sig=100664249404479008355&page=1&tbnh=162&tbnw=213&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:65

Z "Wanker"

So do you think you can use this? anyone anyone. Yep got it .. Legend! (Now that Deej put it in English anyway)

Z I just KNOW this is going to hurt ... but, save file!?...... it's a good question actually, errrrrr ...what am I doing!? .. anyone... Z

I've read with some amusment, some of the pleas from people having been banned - claiming often that they didnt mean too etc etc ... Only reading one today and it made me think, because I'm in the UK and I'm up a little earlier than most , If I don't know a map (not downloaded yet for instance) and no-one playing at the time, I'll go in for 5mins and have a good look about as to where some of the sneaky spots are so that when the PRO'S arrive its not a "run duck run step fuck dead again" x 20mins !!! And you KNOW I have those days on maps I do know!! fuckers all of you ... you know who you are... it,s been discussed some times on the server I am playing, just general banter and I think Beers gave an overview to someone (Pre-Mic days Zkey nightmare days for me) ... but it occured to me, if they didnt mean to?! .. maybe I could be found guilty of!!! .. Like I said, just from one of the "pleads" I'd read today ... (and I do skim read and no I don't read manuals ... ZZZZZZZ) Basically, I'm not 100% clear as to exactly what these are!? ... Many things that's good about you guys, Deejay isnt one of them, fucker! and the servers you provide .. but keeping the game play fair ranks highly to me .... so in case it aint said often enough Thanks, Good Job, Top Hole, Spiffing, Marvelous, Wizard, ticketyboo, Super, Splendid. I'm banned aren't I? :)

ZKEY Wanker ... hahahahaha KNOBBER .. J

You've done me Deej ... I've thought long and hard about this ,,,, and - you total and utter fucker ... I just dont have a come back at all ..... ... worthy of note.. this doesn't happen often, I am booked in for a "check up from the neck up" next week ,.,, I make that ... Fuckers -1- Zedz - 0 -

why is there only a "Like This" button??... Where's my "I don't know what the fuck this means?" button :) It's called your Z key Touche' (fucker) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

why is there only a "Like This" button??... Where's my "I don't know what the fuck this means?" button :)

Oh ,,, you hunt THAT kind of Beaver!!! .hahahaha ....though now, I aint to sure i wanna know about the WOOD work you've been doing !!

Sheeeesh take your time why don't ya! Jud1 (ZKey1)