Humour about marriage

[DEEJAYKEG]

Humour about marriage

 

 

 

 

Wife:    'What are you doing?'  

Husband:    Nothing.

Wife:   'Nothing?  You've been reading ourmarriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband:   'I was looking for the expiry date.' 

 

 

 

 

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Wife :   'Do you want dinner?'  

Husband:  'Sure! What are my choices?'  

Wife:   'Yes or No.'

 

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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Whydear?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, Ilook at your picture and the problem disappears.'  

Wife:  'You see how miraculous and powerful I am foryou.'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what otherproblem can there be greater than this one?'  

 

 

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Stress Reliever

Girl:  'When we get married, I want to share allyour worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'  

Boy:  'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don'thave any worries or troubles.'  

Girl:  'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

 

 

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Son:  'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad thismorning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'  

Mom:  'Well, you have done the right thing.'  

Son:  'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you havemarried me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'  

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have marriedyou, no matter WHO left you a fortune!'  

 

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yoursforever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

 

 

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me,my pretty face or my sexy body?'  

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I likeyour sense of humour!'

 

 

 

 

Husbands are husbands

 

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hithim round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

 

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper withthe name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

 

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week andJenny was the name of the horse I bet on.'

 

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

 

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wifebashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking himunconscious.

 

Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she hadhit again.

 

Wife replied: 'Your Horse phoned!!!'