One for the Yanks

[RobMc]

Mick Murphy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Ireland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.  The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked Mick, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"  Mick looks at the man, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"  The man parks his car, whips out his computer, connects it to his cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.  The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Langley, Virginia.  Within seconds, he receives an email that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email and after a few minutes receives a response.  The man turns to Mick and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."  "The number is correct. Sure you can take one of my calves," says Mick. Mick watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Mick says to the young man, "If I can tell you exactly what your job is, will you give me back my animal?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"  "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Mick. "Wow! That's correct," says the man, "How in the world did you guess?"  "No guessing required," answered Mick. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living, or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep...Now give me back my dog!"

[major-mark63]

OMG LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

i loved this one...