WldPenguin

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing. "How did you talk your Mrs. into letting you go Steve?" "I didn't have to," Steve replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her bands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' so, here I am!"

Hope you are having an awesome birthday, blackcat!

Hope you have a wonderful birthday!

JAH, hope you have an awesome birthday, my friend!

Got it up and running on my pc for ya.......

Hope you're having a wonderful birthday, Hellboy!

I'm sorry plague, for commenting on your salt and pepper......my bad.

<<<<<<<<<< wonders what he does with the salt and pepper?

Welcome back, Hans!

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"

Welcome to the forums, Chasing.......glad to see you here!

Welcome, Coop! Congrats on your tags

Here's to a wonderful birthday, euzen!

Hope you had an awesome birthday, Chkn!

Here's to a wonderful birthday, WarDragon!

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin', I'm not horny - I'm just homesick."

Not ME!!!!

Glad to see you on the forums, Franky!

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, "Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"