wildthing

Yes I have loved this from a kid and used it in teaching when I was a manager about miscommunication.

ROTFLMAO danko step away from the beer

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.. Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why, Why, Why Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?' Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE....... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

8 months pregnant ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) What he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time And sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' ... I just lost it.' > CASE DISMISSED !

Nothing like a good happy family fishing trip.

I take a whole truckload of those please

Happy Birthday Seal

Happy birthday danko and I have a shotty with your name on it that I want to give you.

bump

IDIOT SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Sears repair since. IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman , KS IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE : My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. -- From Kansas City IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Birmingham , Ala. IDIOT SIGHTING : The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS IDIOT SIGHTING : At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments. IDIOT SIGHTING : I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less. How would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent. STAY ALERT! They walk among us .... and they VOTE

I have my three kids thats all I needed for fathers day

Chile that was to much info on duke LOL nice job though

just want to wish the father of XI a Happy Father's day and here is ruggerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!! http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2038338&id=1483355511

Enjoy the visit and welcome from the idiots.

Idiot say i don't have to do anything because I am an idiot and everyone else does it for me.

http://www.safer-networking.org/en/download/index.html This is spybot search and destory it works wonders for me in remove spyware on the computer and is a free download and free updates.

Sob sorry to hear this and I am with you my friend because we are family. My thoughts are with you and if you need someone to knife let me know I am here for you. God Bless.

Fresh Meat in freeze tag I have fresh meat to knife and kill HA HA HA HA HAWelcome Adam and have fun we are idiots here.

It does sound like a good idea and to say that we are one big family is an understatement. Great job mikey in showing the true xi spirit and keep up the great work.

Sorry its with two monitors one for play one for ban now which button was it to kick the wizids ass oh yes this one RPG HACK NOW SET FOR WIZID

Case ( [$15 OFF Mail-In Rebate] Nzxt Apollo Gaming Tower Case w/420W Power Supply Black ) Case Lighting ( Cold Cathode Neon Light Blue ) Power Supply ( [= Gaming Edition =] 1000 Watt Extreme Power Supply [Gaming Series] --- Quad SLI + Active PFC + 80 Plus Ready ) Processor ( [== Quad Core ==] AMD Phenom X4 9950 Black Edition Quad-Core CPU w/ HyperTransport Technology ) Free Software/Game ( Free Game - [Halo 2] must purchase with Microsoft Windows Vista operation system ) Processor Cooling ( [$10 OFF Mail-In Rebate] [=== Silent ===] Thermaltake MaxOrb CPU Cooling Fan System Kit Silent & Overclocking Proof = Maximum cooling efficiency for quietness and performance ) Motherboard ( [CrossFire] ASUS M3A79-T Deluxe AMD 790FX CrossFire Chipset w/7.1 Sound, Gb LAN, S-ATA Raid, USB 2.0, Quad PCI-E MB ) Memory ( 8 GB [2 GB X4] DDR2-800 PC6400 Memory Module Corsair-Value or Major Brand ) Video Card ( NVIDIA GeForce 9800GTX+ 1GB w/DVI + TV Out Video ) Video Card Brand ( === High Performance === eVGA Brand Video Card Powered by NVIDIA ) Hard Drive ( 320 GB HARD DRIVE [serial-ATA-II, 3Gb, 7200 RPM, 16M Cache] ) 2nd Hard Drive ( None ) External Hard Drives [uSB 2.0/eSATA] ( None ) CD/DVD Drive ( [Lightscribe Technology] LG 22X Dual Format/Double Layer DVD±R/±RW + CD-R/RW Drive Black ) CD-RW/DVD-RW Drive ( [** Special !!! ***] LG 20X Dual Format/Double Layer DVD±R/±RW + CD-R/RW Drive Black ) Sound Card ( Creative Lab Sound Blaster Audigy SE ) Speaker System ( [black] Logitech X-540 5.1 Surround Speakers + Subwoofer ) Network Card ( Intel Pro 10/100/1000 Network Card ) Floppy Drive ( None ) Monitor ( None ) 2nd Monitor ( None ) Keyboard ( Logitech Deluxe Keyboard Black ) Mouse ( Logitech Optical Internet Mouse Black ) USB 2.0 Accessories ( Built-in USB 2.0 Ports ) Meter Display ( Thermal Temperature LCD Display Black ) Flash Media Reader/Writer ( 12-In-1 Internal Flash Media Card Reader/Writer Black ) Operation System ( Microsoft Windows Vista Home Premium + [Free 60-Day !!!] Microsoft Office 2007(Word, Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, Access ....) 64-Bit ) Case Round Cable ( Professional wiring for all cables inside the system tower ) USB Flash Drive ( None ) MP3 Player ( None ) Video Camera ( None ) Headset ( None ) Power Protection ( ** iBUYPOWER Recommended ** Network 10/100/1000 LAN Surge Protector Assures integrity and stability of data communications + Strengthens system immunity against electrostatic discharges ) Warranty ( Warranty Service Standard 3-Year Limited Warranty + Lifetime Technical Support )

Fresh meat to knife just what I like and three of them bah ha ha ha ha

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE

PAC-MAN TURNS 30 YEARS OLD TOMORROW HERE IS A FLASH BACK FOR YOU.