I'm trying to come out of "hermit-mode" and thought I would share what is in my mind/heart with y'all as I feel that this is a safe environment and consider many of you my friends.
As some of you may know, I went through a bad break up over the holidays which wrecked my personal life and left me semi-homeless (I've been crashing at my son's apt until I can afford a place). I've had some severe depression about it and tend to hide myself away when my world has too much drama/pain/disappointment to deal with. My family doctor prescribed and I've been taking anti-depressants and xanax since Hurricane Katrina, but sometimes they don't "anti" enough.
It's difficult for me to reach out to others in an honest way and I tend to skim the surface with superfluous topics of conversation, hence my chatter. When stressed, I can (and sometimes do) talk a lot without really saying anything. It's an embarrassing unconscious defense mechanism that gives me the appearance of being irresponsible and frivolous which creates an atmosphere in which I am not required to be a responsible participant.
For being absent, I apologize.
I have stopped crying over Vic and have several interviews set up for jobs that are actually in my field. I survived abuse, cancer, Katrina and I will survive this. I will get back on track.
Thank you for “listening”.