Super Max

Change of Mind Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.' Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.' Customer: 'How do I get them back when she is not in?'

Actual Calls to Computer Technical Support Reps Get the right computer - 1 Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, You've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! Get the right computer - 2 Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one...

Computer Dating: Disappointments

I'm on vacation and am only concerned with the placement of story on the forum. I lie here just to get all the writing

Reassess Your Computer Interactions It's time to reassess your relationship with your computer when ..... You wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop at the computer to check your email on the way back to bed. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access. You start using smileys :-) in your snail mail. When you hand-write a note and think... SPELL CHECKER'! You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a computer. When your computer's email box shows 'no new messages' and you feel really depressed. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have non-descript screen name and you never bothered to ask. Your family always knows where you are. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say 'LOL, LOL' If your computer's internet connection goes down, you cannot settle to any other tasks. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!

Where are all the funny stories I've posted today?? Miss a lot:?

Boyfriend v Computer Husband Software Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0. What I have noticed is a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewellery applications, which had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as Sport 7.3, NFL 3.2 and Tennis 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Your faithfully Desperate Susan

Old Podgy - Prize Rooster Thomas was a chicken farmer; his farm was dedicated to the fertilized egg business. In his farmyard, Thomas had 450 young hens to lay the eggs. Incidentally, at this stage the female hens are called 'pullets'. Now to fertilise the eggs, which the pullets laid, Thomas had 12 male birds called roosters. The farmer kept careful records, and any rooster that didn't perform went straight into the cooking pot and a replacement introduced. Thomas found this task time consuming, so he bought a dozen tiny bells and attached one to each of his roosters. Cunningly, each bell had a different ring tone so Thomas could tell from from the comfort of his porch, which rooster was performing. So now Thomas could sit on his rocking chair and tick the boxes on his efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favourite rooster was Old Podgy, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning Thomas noticed Old Podgy's bell hadn't rung at all! Thomas went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, their bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer Thomas's amazement, Old Podgy had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Thomas was so proud of Old Podgy, he entered him in the Worcester County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result... The judges not only awarded Old Podgy the No Bell Piece Prize, but also they awarded him the Pulletsurprise!

Calculating Farmer There was a young man named Ahmed who bought a donkey from old farmer Farouk for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. When Farouk drove up the next day he says, 'I am sorry but I have some bad news - the donkey is on my truck but he be dead.' Ahmed replies, 'Well then, just give me my money back.' 'Can't do that,' burrs the farmer, 'I went out and spent it already.' Ahmed sighs, 'OK just unload the donkey anyway.' Farouk then asks, 'What are you gonna do with a dead donkey an' that?' I'll raffle him off,' laughs Ahmed. The farmer exclaimed, 'Aargh, you can't raffle off a dead donkey.' But Ahmed with a big smile on his face tells Farouk, 'Sure I can. Watch. Just don't tell anyone the donkey is dead.' A month later the farmer Farouk met up with Ahmed and asks, 'Whatever happened to that dead donkey?' Ahmed answers, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 each and made a huge profit.' Totally amazed the farmer Farouk enquires, 'Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?' 'The only one who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner,' chuckled Ahmed, 'so when he came to claim his prize I gave him his $2.00 back plus $200.00 extra, which is double the going value of a dead donkey, so he thought I was a great fellow.'

Sorry for all the jokes and funny pictures It seems that I post too much and some people do not like that. So, create a topic with Judge jokes and LITTLE Storys EVERYONE LOVES JOKES BUT 12+ SEPARATE POSTS ON JOKES IN THE SPACE OF MINUTES SPAMS OUR WEBSITE,I ASKED IF YOU WOULD MAKE THEM UNDER ONE FORUM VIA PM AND YOU HAVE MANY THANKS....ROCKAPE>XI<ADM

SgtHarryWeezer Judge |NL - Two Girls Hiking and a Bear Anne and Tara, two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 85 metres up the trail. The bear spots the two girls and begins running towards them at a full tilt. Tara drops her backpack, sits down, throws off her boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes. Anne says to Tara, 'What are you doing? You will never be able to outrun that bear.' Tara replies, 'I don't have to outrun the bear………………………….' What a "metre???" 85 metres /278,87 feet

Dairy farmer John Duffield was milking his cow in Shepperton, Surrey. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. Farmer Duffield didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. "It went in one ear and out the udder."

On a drive in the country, Roger, a city gent noticed a farmer lifting a pig up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another. 'Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about,' said Roger, the city gent, 'but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn't it save a lot of time?' 'Ooh ar, time?' answered the farmer. 'What does time matter to a pig?'

Anne and Tara, two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 85 metres up the trail. The bear spots the two girls and begins running towards them at a full tilt. Tara drops her backpack, sits down, throws off her boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes. Anne says to Tara, 'What are you doing? You will never be able to outrun that bear.' Tara replies, 'I don't have to outrun the bear………………………….'

Sonovabich Yeah it's not an intelligent post like the ones you make is it Hans Correct did you read the good post in the whore topic an I mean that one wher you have to read lol

SkunK|NL - R 700 sniper rifle back in server Is it possible that the R700 sniper rifle is coming back in the mwf freezetag v 2 server I think i am not the only one who is missing that sniper rifle Heard more people asking fot it. Those who are using sniper rifle in the game miis the R700 me 2

Ruggerxi GorillaXI - XI Fest OK, seeing as Rugger is to busy to do something. Gorilla you Idiot! When we had our conversation last week I said I was going to put out a PM later this week. To give people another week to make sure they will be coming for sure. Can you send a plane for the Dutch XI: P

Bushape I think I seen Cheese in there. Me 2 lol

lol

google Blame Franchi...)))))))))))))))))))))) again.... Me 2

Bump stupit topic

Happy Birthday Bushape

Cavey Toothpick TRat an all Dutch

Happy Bday old men

Really cool movie