JohnnyDos

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man just groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Once again, the old man just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?" "Fred," the old man moaned. "Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer. With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, "The balcony."

Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand. And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?) No word in the English language rhymes with month , orange, silver, or purple. ' Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'. (Are you doubting this?) our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?) The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes) . (Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.) There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not possibly doubting this, are you ?) There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u) Add 'ly' to facetious and you have sometimes 'y' TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out) A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds .. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.) A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!) Almonds are a member of the peach family. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that also. Actually I know A LOT of people like this!) Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite! Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.) The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid . There are more chickens than people in the world. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Now you know more than you did befor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz77KY1WpcY

Well thanks to Markoff I got my signature back.It's not exactly the same,but when you can't create them you get what you get and thank the person who created it for you and thank him in this case it's Markoff.

This is all I've found SOB,I checked just like dickus did,but you're right it does have something about that Bond(James Bond )type sound>LOL:

OK everything is on high & extreme.Really drops now.Thanks Djmot,you made it easy for me(dummy idiot Johnny)

X-Ray I used the drivers from here http://sites.amd.com/us/game/downloads/Pages/radeon_win7-64.aspx I didn't use the disc.

Mine vanished yesterday PingLo & I think HarryWeezers disappeared the day before.What happened?

Mike B,I have problems with my retina also.(from diabetes) I had fluid behind the retina also.They give me injections every once in a while.I had a little blood seepage on the retina and it sort of dried up and now my vision in that eye makes things look warped.But the swelling has gone down with these shots according to those type of x-rays they take.But you have a totally different situation.Yours is torn.I don't think you should go through another surgery if it is not going to do much.Good luck man.Sucks not to be able to see properly so I know how you feel.

Please read the explanation of piss poor before you delete this, you might find it interesting. Where did "piss poor" come from? NOW THIS IS A REAL EDUCATION Us older people need to learn something new every day... Just to keep the grey matter tuned up. Where did "Piss Poor" come from? Interesting history. They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot. And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery... if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low. The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500's Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, And they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!" Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings Could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing.. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.Hence the rhyme: ? Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests And would all sit around and chew the fat.Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status.. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. S Hence the custom; ? holding a wake." England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone- house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had ben burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someo ne could be, ? saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer." And that's the truth. Now, whoever said history was boring!!! So get out there and educate someone! Share these facts with a friend. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" We'll be friends until we are old and senile. Then we'll be new friends. Smile, it gives your face something to do!

WOW! all better scores than me.No wonder I always loose.LOL Hey how do you guys put that pic up?I'm too stupid.

OK X-Ray.I really liked that DayZ mod but not sure of how to get it?Do I have to install Firefox and whatever else is there?Will I nned those other browsers?

I just got this card last week and ran a benchmark on it.This is what I got.The card is not overclocked in any way.I tested it with the tessalation OFF.I'd just like to compare. Powered by Unigine Engine Heaven Benchmark v3.0 Basic FPS: 92.8 Scores: 2338 Min FPS: 42.0 Max FPS: 174.8 Hardware Binary: Windows 32bit Visual C++ 1600 Release Mar 7 2012 Operating system: Windows 7 (build 7601, Service Pack 1) 64bit CPU model: AMD Phenom II X6 1100T Processor CPU flags: 3314MHz MMX+ 3DNow!+ SSE SSE2 SSE3 SSE4A HTT GPU model: AMD Radeon HD 7900 Series 9.12.0.0 3072Mb Settings Render: direct3d11 Mode: 1920x1080 fullscreen Shaders: high Textures: high Filter: trilinear Anisotropy: 4x Occlusion: enabled Refraction: enabled Volumetric: enabled Tessellation: disabled Unigine Corp. © 2005-2012

Happy Birthday Kleine Hexe.Havce a great day.

Yeah that is comming this week isn't it.Cya Mon.morning DjMot.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life. 2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. 3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. 4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. 5. I thought that I could love no other -- that is until I met your brother. 6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's Empty and so is your head. 7. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. 8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 9. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? 10. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.' 11. What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Works SOB.

Didn't expect that voice comming from him.Don't know the song but sounded great and only 17years old.The audience seemed to love them.NICE.Yes from me also.

Well today me and Capt.Tenneal picked up the game.Now to figure out what to do.But it actually looks pretty good.

I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls with an overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?" One of them screeched, "It's WALES, you bloody idiot!" So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?" And...that's the last thing I remember....

Happy Birthday Mazda.Stay home today and play COD 5.I called your boss he said it's OK.LOL

Dog with Chinese Name. Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Look at the picture and then read the sales pitch below. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Fuk!!!

Since I reinstalled W7 and used the DL'r,I've never had tha problem.But I did( all the same problems as you) and the best way to correct that is to do what Chileno said.

Nice boat.but I'm not sure I am staring at the right floatation devices.LOL

I noticed that too SOB.Great job members who donate.