Senior wisdom

[DEEJAYKEG]

I just took a

leaflet out of my mailbox,

informing me that I can

have sex at 73.

I'm so happy, because I live at

number 71.

So it's not too far to walk home

afterwards.

And...

it's the same side of the street.

I don't even have

to cross the road!

 

~~~~~

 

Answering machine

message,

"I am not available right now, but

thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making

some changes in my life.

Please leave a message

after the beep.

If I do not return your call,

you are one of the

changes."

 

~~~~~

 

My wife and I had

words, but I didn't get to use

mine.

 

~~~~~

 

Frustration is trying to

find your glasses without your

glasses.

 

~~~~~

 

Blessed are those who can

give without remembering

and take without

forgetting .

 

~~~~~

 

The irony of life is that,

by the time you're old

enough to know your way around,

you're not going

anywhere.

 

~~~~~

 

God made man before

woman so as to give him time

to think of an answer

for her first question.

 

~~~~~

 

I was always taught to respect my elders,

but it keeps getting harder to find one.

 

~~~~~

 

Every morning is the dawn of a new

error.

 

~~~~~

 

The quote of the month is

by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out

of control, mud slides, flooding, severe

thunderstorms tearing up the country

from one end to another,

and with the threat of bird flu, swine flu,

regular flu and terrorist attacks,

are we sure this is a good time to even

consider taking God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

 

~~~~~

 

Aspire to inspire before

you expire .

 

~~~~~