TBB Posted January 2, 2021 Member ID: 989 Group: *** Clan Members Followers: 25 Topic Count: 264 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 18127 Content Per Day: 3.47 Reputation: 20137 Achievement Points: 132829 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 263 Joined: 01/07/10 Status: Offline Last Seen: 8 hours ago Birthday: 01/27/1946 Device: Windows Share Posted January 2, 2021 A man comes home late one night, drunk. "Where have you been?" asks his wife. "In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar. "Do you have golden chairs?" "Yes." "Do you have golden glasses?" "Yes." "Do you have golden beer?" "Yes." "Do you have a golden urinal?" "Hold on." On the other end, she hears "I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone." ----------------------------------------------------------- A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times." The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat." GHO5T 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
Snap Posted January 2, 2021 Member ID: 27916 Group: ++ Insurgency Admin Followers: 4 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 398 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 341 Achievement Points: 2542 Solved Content: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/19/19 Status: Offline Last Seen: 15 hours ago Device: Windows Share Posted January 2, 2021 5 stars had a good laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options... Awards
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