pwrcrzy52

The First Happy Meal AND McDONALD'S THOUGHT THEY HAD IT FIRST How easily we forget... This Is The Original Happy Meal... Little boys never outgrow their liking for an original happy meal !!!!!

Q. What did the right leg say to the left leg? A. Between me and you, we need a haircut.

Reading him his Miranda rights, a big Mama female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. The female officer speaks to the staring drunk: "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The wobbling drunk stares at her chest and replies: "Boobs."

A man is having problems with his dick, which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out. You only have 30 erections left in your penis." The man walks home, deeply depressed. His wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no! Only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that! We should make a list!" He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."

Hey Happy Birthday !!!!!buddy hope your feeling well enough to to party

After forty years of marrage , Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein came to a stand still in their love life. Each night Frankenstein would come home from work, eat his dinner, and sit in front of the television set until he fell asleep. Dissatisfied with this arrangement, the bride decided to see a therapist. "He's never in the mood," complained the Bride. "Try a romantic candlelight dinner," suggested the therapist. The next day, the Bride returned to the therapist with a frown on her face. "He's still not in the mood," she complained. "This time," the therapist recommended, "Try something more seductive. Put on some sexy lingerie and lure him into the bedroom." But the Bride returned to the therapist the following day complaining that her monster of a husband was still not in the mood. As a final piece of advice, the therapist said, "You should try to recreate the moment that first sparked your romance." The next day the Bride returned with a huge grin on her face. "Thank you so much," she said to the therapist. "Last night, I forced Frankenstein to come outside in the middle of the lightening storm. And right there, in our backyard, he made love to me like it was our very first time." "Making love in a lightening storm put him in the mood?" asked the therapist. "Well," said the Bride of Frankenstein, "I tied a kite to his penis."

A virile, young Italian man was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom for sex. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So... You finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, the young man reached for her and the love-making resumed. This time she thrashes about wildly and there are screams of passion. The love-making ends, and again, the young man smiles, and again he asks, "You finish?" And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and softly says, "No." Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for the woman again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. The exhausted man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks again, "You finish?" Barely able to speak, she whispers, "No, I Norwegian!"

Great pictures, a little piece of paridise

Welcome 3rd, i've been shooting you in the Nam freeze tag server .Remember have fun !!!

Some celebratory days are better than others!!! Happy Saint Nipples Day Don’t be caught like a deer in the headlights. Rise to the occasion and give a toast. Happy St. Nipples Day

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards." "Is that when you swore?" "No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away." "Is that when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again. "Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun. "No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the Squirrel dropped my ball." "Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient. "No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole." The two nuns were silent for a moment. Finally Mother Superior sighed and said, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"

The blind daters had really hit it off and at the end of the evening as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, Mike said, "Before we go any further, Cindy, tell me - do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?" "As a matter of fact," smiled Cindy, "I do happen to have a foot fetish....... but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

Feel this is worth passing along. With the holidays coming up, I can see where this could be a real problem. The newest virus circulating is the UPS/Fed Ex/USPS Delivery Failure. You will receive an e-mail from UPS,Fed Ex, or USPS along with a packet number. It will say that they were unable to deliver a package sent to you on such-and-such a date. It then asks you to print out the invoice copyattached. DON'T TRY TO PRINT THIS. IT LAUNCHES THE VIRUS! Pass this warning on to all your PC operators at work and home.This virus has caused Millions of dollars in damage in the past few days. Snopes confirms that it is real.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a clitoris?? Men will spend hours looking for a golf ball A husband comes home with a half-gallon of ice cream and asks his wife if she wants some. "How hard is it?" she asks. "About as hard as my dick." he replies. "Ok, then pour me some!" What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? It's easy to blow a paycheck, even if it wrinkly, stained or smells funny. Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy When is it ok for a guy not to know the proper spelling of 'clitoris'? When he has it on the tip of his tongue. How can you tell when a man is dead? He stays stiff for more than two minutes. What happens when a man undoes his fly? His brain falls out. Men do too get PMS: Penis Malfunction Syndrome. Pre-Middle aged Syndrome. Post Macho Syndrome. What is the definition of a penis? It's a little root for a big vegetable! Men come in three sizes: small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!

A man goes to a phychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you must help me. Every night I dream that I'm driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York. I'm so tired I can hardly get up in the morning." The doctor says, "Tell you what. Next time you have this dream, just call me and I'll come over and drive the truck for you." The man tries it, and is cured. Another patient tells the doctor, "I have this same dream every night. I'm making love to four beautiful women, and by morning I'm totally exhasted. Can you help me?" The doctor says, "Tell you what, next time you have this dream, just call me and I'll come and take a couple of them off your hands." Two weeks later the man with the over sex problem goes back to the psychiatrist and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Now these women are bringing their friends, and they're all getting so demanding. I'm so tired I can barely get through the day. Can't you do something?" "You should have called me." the doctor replied. "I told you I'd take a couple of them off your hands." "But Doc," he said, "I've been calling you every night, and your service keeps telling me you're out driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York."

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

A wife is at home when she suddenly hears a knock on the door. When she opens the door a man asks her if she has a vagina, the woman slams the door in disbelief of what a stranger has just asked her. The same thing happens three consecutive days and the woman decides to tells her husband. The husband says to the wife; "Tomorrow I am not going to work and when the man asks if you have a vagina say yes and I will be hiding behind the door." The next day the same man comes again and when the woman opens the door he asks if she has the vagina and the woman says yes; the man then said to the woman, "Good, then please tell your husband to stop screwing my wife."

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "Ok, I'm a prostitute." "No, that's still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman excitedly states, "I'm a chicken farmer!" The accountant is puzzled, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."

A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?" "Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know?" She said, "By the gleam in your eye." They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would you like to kiss me?" "Oh, my yes!" replied the boy, "But how did you know?" She said, "By the gleam in your eye." As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump, the girl looked at the boy and asked, "Would you like to go all the way with me?" "Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you know? By the gleam in my eye?" "No," replied the girl, "by the TILT IN YOUR KILT."

A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her. She took one look and said, "It's just like my husband's penis." "Wow, you mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked. "No," she replied. "That dead."

George goes to the doctor and says "Hey Doc I know guys my age start to get hair growing in their nose and arse and stuff, but look at this." Where upon he displays his dick which is covered with hair. The doctor says "Gee I never saw anything like that." "Am I in trouble?" asks George. The doctor takes some samples and tells George to call him in a few days. When George calls, the doctor tells him not to worry but advises him to "Wash your hands better after you put the Rogaine on you head."

A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar -- a salt shaker , a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice." So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks - this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it .... in one second the sharp lime taste hits... at two seconds the Baileys curdles... at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits. This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink. When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend. She smiles widely at him and says, "So, how did you like it? It's called Blow Job's Revenge!"

* Twin sisters love to cuddle on bearskin rugs in front of a roaring fire. * They love to have pillow fights with their friends at slumber parties. * Their fathers are always proud and supportive of their choice to pose nude to the entire world. * They love riding on horses, motorcycles, and jet-skis naked. * They all think Hugh Hefner is the sexiest man alive. * Frolicking on a beach in the nude with three of their closest friends is their idea of a great afternoon. * They think it's fun to share a hot tub with one guy and 4 large breasted women. * A man's looks aren't important to even the most beautiful of women. * They enjoy gentle caresses with a female friend in the locker room after a grueling workout. * When women eat a bananna or a popsicle, they are imagining that they are pleasuring a man. * They have no qualms about being nude in a crowded bar or restaurant. * While showering, a perfect silouette is always cast on the door/curtain. * They express their interests with "turn ons" and "turn offs". * They wear sheer silk nightgowns to bed every night, even when alone. * They seldomly wear underwear, except on rare occasions that call for a lacy thong" Garter belts are extremely comfortable, especially with fishnet stockings.

Love the blues

Nice picts looks like you enjoyed yourself