pwrcrzy52

HUSBAND: 1) A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had. 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so. WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. Spouse: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. Mother-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers

Ok skinny is out ,some meat on the bones is nice. I do't have a 6 pack maybe 10 pack .

An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "You see that thing, woman?" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we ought to do with it?" With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, this might be a good time to wash it."

LOL I've been there once or twice.

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit, except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this...a black condom?" He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences!"

A young couple were married and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom. When she gets to the bathroom door, he opened the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared and she asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy. He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement asked, "Is that all we have left?"

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? A. Beat it -- we're closed. Q. Why is a joke like a pussy/dick? A. Neither is any fun if you don't get it. Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A. It's Braille for "suck here". Q. What's hairy on the outside, wet on the inside, starts with 'c', ends with 't', and has a 'u' and an 'n' in the middle? A. A coconut. Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A. A cherry float. Q. Why is air a lot like sex? A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Sorry about your loss Your in our prayers

Ok fixed it

Playboy Playmates.... Click on the individual boxes more than once and get large and extra large blowups...what a way to waste a day..... AND WASTE A DAY YOU WILL !!!!!!!!! http://igorkazakov.ru/playboy/

A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with their pinkies and say, "Hi there, little boy!" One day the boy stops and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their pinkies. They reply, "Well, that is what size we imagine your penis to be... it is just a joke!" The next day on his way home, the hookers repeat the tradition. The young boy stops and drops his school books on the ground, sticks all his fingers in his mouth to stretch his lips very wide and says, "HI THERE, LADIES!

Nice one Johnny

There was a young lady named Hitchin Who was scatching her crotch in the kitchen. Her mother said,"Rose it's the crabs,i suppose." She said,"Yes,and the buggers are itchin"

The Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?" HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Thats funny , my wife tells her friends that i kill people ,then she has to explain .

Welcome to the forums hope to shoot you soon.

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the fucking goalie."

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up you look so excited." The groom replies, "I just had the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited." The bride replies, "I have just given the last blowjob of my entire life."

Ya that was a tear jerker , I've had to put down about 4 so far. I miss them all, but life goes on .

Nice is there going to be snow cammo

LOL

LOL NICE 1

A WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be annoyed. Pull out my chair and hold my hand. Massage my feet and help me stand. Oh send a king to make me queen. A man who loves to cook and clean. I pray this man will love no other. And relish visits with my mother. A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Deer season has started So I thought I’d better send out a reminder About what a Whitetail Looks Like!

This "Trike" is owned by a Vet, and on display at a car show. Check the power plant he used, it should haul butt! The work and thought that went into the paint job is priceless.