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Congratulations, nice you made it

What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants. He's sleeping. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard. How can you piss off your wife while making love? Call her from your cell phone. What does the brideof a Polish man get that's long and hard on her wedding night? His last name. What's the down side to a threesome? You could disappoint two women instead of just one. How do you know you're really ugly? Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg. Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car.

Hey Damage welcome to the forums,seen you alot in game .Hope to see more of you . Shoot you soon.

We have alot of different Clan members from different countries and it would be interesting to know how we all say Merry Christmas . Or is there any special customs celebrated.

* Marrage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is Husband! * Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. * I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash. * A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms. * Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. * Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. * My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. * Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. * Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

According to a new article in 'Cosmopolitan' magazine, they say the position you sleep in says a lot about you. They say women who sleep on their sides are sensitive, women who sleep on their stomachs are competent, and women who sleep on their backs with their ankles behind their ears are very popular.

Funny !!!!!

I spent $5000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2000 on liposuction for her and she was over the moon. I spent $30 on a blow job for myself and she goes' fucking mental. Women!!

Thats a good one, We all have to watch are backsides now.

Ok sounds fair to me

A gas station owner in Atlanta,Georgia was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time." A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week." pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex." Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone. "Oh, Sister" said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved." "Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun. "Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven." "Did he now..." said the old nun evenly. Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his key to Heaven into my lock." "Is that a fact..." said the old nun, even more evenly. "At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful but that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt good being saved." "That son-of-a..." muttered the old nun, "he told ME it was Gabriel's Horn and I've been blowing it for forty years!"

Watch it more than once, but not over 50.

WOW Thats scary

I love this poster............

Congrats Harry

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

If Big-Chested women work at HOOTERS Where do "ONE-LEGGED" women work??? You're going to love this Scroll down for the answer God forgive me.

I feel your pain i've had 5 root canals ,and now one has failed so tooth extraction is next. The pain should start subsiding slowly.

Thx Mikey

Not sure december looks cute ,red hat and all.

Comgrats hope to see pictures soon!!!!

Kissing's a pleasure Fucking's a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain He says he loves you, and you believe it's true Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you. 10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain 3 days in hospital, a child without a name The baby's a bastard The mother's a whore This never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore

Hey Congrats