Yeah Litlle old man, that problem i have for many years now.
But if it happens , i put the server in my favourites in cod2 , so i started then up without XFire.
This problem got the to by our ping at that time we log in to the server, it can't be helped unlesse we move closer to the central.
My ping is mostly between 100/150 but if it goes beyond 150 for one moment, then i have the same trouble as you, then i go the favo servers in cod2, that's where i have tdm also , when i click it one their. i mostly get in , the first time.
If someone know's how to lower are ping, we would gladly hear it lol.
Greetzzz ALBERT