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ROCKMAN

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Posts posted by ROCKMAN

    A true story I wrote.

    in Jokes and Misc stuff

    Posted

    "Knucklehead's story”





    So as you may know, I am an Arborist.? One day while on the job I was
    removing a tree from a customer’s yard. So I felled the tree and on the way down a squirrel leaped from the tree and was killed instantly by the tree falling on her; yes, it was Momma squirrel. What I did not notice is that this tree had a hollow cavity where a squirrel family had lived.
    Inside the nest were 6 tiny pink baby squirrels? All six fit in the palm of my hand.


    It’s hard to believe, as a hunter I? Would even care about them, but who wouldn’t?


    So I took them home, put hot water bottles wrapped in a towel in a box with an old t-shirt I had. That was home for them for a few weeks.


    I researched what it took to take care of them, with full intent on releasing them back into the wild. Puppy milk was the closest to squirrel milk as there was available for them. They took to it right away eating every 3 to 4 hours, and reloading the hot water bottles. I have to tell you it was not cheap? Just powdered puppy milk cost more than $500.00 until they were all weaned. They also needed to learn how to pee and poop.
    Let’s just say there were? Explanations on ? Ways to help them with that and leave it at that! (lol) Ok, a few days had past and sure enough it happened to me again. I removed a tree which had a squirrel family in it!
    Sadly it was the same scenario Momma squirrel did not survive the fall. So now I have 13. Yes, I said 13 pink baby squirrels. As they were growing larger I made them a big cage so they would have plenty of room. They were
    always very sweet to me; climbing on me, always wanting attention. Then
    they started eating solid foods and they did not need milk anymore.


    So one night I decided the next weekend I would take them outside and
    open the cage and allow them to come and go as they pleased.


    They would have it made as I live on a thirty acre farm.


    It was that night! I was at my desk and they lived in their cage which was
    in the shed that is attached to my home.? I had heard one of them scream
    like never before.? This scream scared all the others into the bedding
    area. When I approached the cage I noticed one of them was on the bottom
    of the cage crying. So I went to pick him up.? He bit me over and over
    thinking I am sure I am the one causing him this pain. I positioned him so
    he could not bite me anymore.? I? realized he had a dislocated or? a
    broken? back. He could not move his lower body at all and had a curvature
    to his spine that looked bad. At that time I was ready to put him down to
    end his suffering. I gave it a shot to straighten his back, grabbing him
    from under his front shoulders and by his rear legs I gave him a yank! To
    my relief he stopped crying immediately. He looked up at me with such
    relief and I at him and just said you knucklehead! That’s how he got his
    name.


    He was still paralyzed and could not move his rear legs or had any feeling
    in his lower body. He needed baths often to keep him clean and got rub
    downs every day? to help him stretch out.


    What I believe happened to him is that his sister, who was much bigger,
    had? picked on all the others.? She? may have been the culprit.


    Just a few days before one of the squirrels had been hanging upside down
    in the center of the cage chewing on a nut and big sister leaped across
    the cage hitting him in the middle of his body rather violently causing
    them both to land toward the other side of the cage!


    Seeing this I thought to myself it was time to let them go!


    Months passed.? All the squirrels had been set free except Knucklehead.


    It was cool to walk in the woods days later after their release and have a
    few come to me and climb up on my shoulder as if to say hello or maybe
    thanks. Either way I had a friends that now lived in the wild.


    Months had gone by and Knucklehead slowly regained the use of his rear
    legs. Today he climbs runs, jumps all over but he does so with a bit of
    crabwalk. He’s happy! I think he loves me! He climbs on me often and tries
    to groom me. He nibbles off the little hairs that grow on my ears. Yes, it
    tickles! He gets nuts from trees all over the world!


    He eats spinach and apples, as well as Brussels sprouts.


    His favorites are seeds.


    When he has a full belly and gets a snack, he tries to bury them around
    the house. It’s funny to watch him! In my carpet there is a bold pattern.
    He believes the dark spots in the carpet are holes and tries to put them
    in this hole and then cover them up. After a few seconds of patting them
    down with his front? hands, he feels they are secure and moves on. I know
    they are not hands but he grabs things just as we would. Yes I allow him
    to run around the house. The most asked question I get:? where does he go
    to the bathroom?


    I burn wood to heat my home so he loves to hang out on the wood pile which
    I have in the house with the occasional slip that’s were he goes.


    He happens to be sitting on my shoulder while I wrote his story. I wonder
    if he approved of it?
     
     
     Steve, aka ROCK
     
     
     
     
     
     

    I think I may have met this Nun

    in Jokes and Misc stuff

    Posted

    A nun, badly needing to use a restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in awhile the lights would turn off.

    Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers!

    However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

    She walked up to the bartender, and asked. May I please use the restroom?

    The bartender replied, "ok", but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man only wearing a fig leaf.

    Well in that case, I'll just look the other way, said the nun.

    So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, Sir, I don't understand?

    Why did they applaud for me just because I wen to the restroom? Well, now they know your one of us, said the bartender, Would you like a drink?

    No thank you, but I still don't understand, said the puzzled nun. You see, laughed the bartender, every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now how about that drink?

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