Syckle

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your wife is taking her sweet ass time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible". 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "Hey! You're out of toilet paper in here!"

rolf!!!!

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. "From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "BELL 2!" the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!" they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, " she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

is it different in any way?

indeed

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ha!

thats cool!

awesome!!

heres annother one, From: Jane Gilles Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Overdue account Dear David, Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Overdue account Dear Jane, I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am To: David Thorne Subject: Overdue account Dear David, Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Overdue account Dear Jane, Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account Dear David, You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you? Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account Dear Jane, Yes please. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account Attached <spider.gif> From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Whose spider is that? Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Whose spider is that? Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Automated Out of Office Response Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week. Regards, David. From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? Attached <spider2.gif>

> If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train > follow these instructions: > > > 1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. > > > 2. Remove your laptop. > > > 3. Start up > > > 4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen. > > > 5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky. > > > 7. Then hit this link: http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf > >

lol!!!!

yah, its a good one been telling everyone it for about a week

Two wives go out for a girls night. While walking home drunk they go into a cemetery to pee but they have nothing to wipe with. One uses her panties the other uses a wreath from a grave. The next morning one husband calls the other and says, " That's it, no more girls night, my wife came home with no panties. " The other guy says, " You think that's bad, mine had a card stuck to her butt that read, from all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you...

hope you had a good one!!

welcome

very funny

wow

guess im supposed to say a little about myself, i live on cape cod, (mass) 46 yrs old, single (ladies) ive been playing all the cod games from the original cod, battlefield games, red orchestra, americas army, cs source etc... the cod games have always been my preference, and i am an avid fan of freeze tag (started playing on g-13 from the start) ive been in about 5 clans, w2 warriors for about five yrs (admin the last 2), they are moving in a direction i didnt like so i stopped playing with them about 7 mos. ago really got sick of black ops! as i said before, i game with my 2 boys , kashi (13) and duh 711(11) they have been gaming with me for the last five years, and no kashi is not hacking (lol) i built and maintain his pc guess that it for now Syk also i need help with my sig, cant get it to stick. my host pic wont take and i cant get the "insert image "button to work, i just get "error on page" message

hi guys, just wanted to say that ive had a great time playing on your servers by myself and with my kids