Darkengrim

Many congratulations mate and best wishes to you both for your future together

Many congratulations, congratulations and congratulations to you both and best wishes for your future. Regards Dark

Ok guys here is a game that I think you all need to have a look at if you haven't already I think it is going to be a monster and the very cool thing about it is, it is made by gamers for gamers. The game is called Brink

Best of luck to you mate

Hey congrats to you and yours Shady Lady

Hey SexyGuy congrats on getting tagged........ truly you are an idiot

Met a girl in the park last night and there was in instant spark between us, she fell at my feet and as I gave her a damn good shag I though fuck me these tazer guns are well worth the money.

Welcome Redrum and it has been good shooting you occasionally

Quite cool as an ad ...... shame they didn't test it on top gear

lol

What makes you think he is lucky ..... she might have a tongue that could cut a tank in half lol ..... lucky git

Thanks to you all and as Mikey gets the Dohnuts I will have the beer

Husband shouts to his wife , "Come up stairs and look at this magnificent CLOCK." She goes upstairs and there is her husband stood there, stark bollock naked, with a huge erection. "Thats not not a clock" she says. "Soon will be when it has got 2 hands and a face on it woman!!" Darken out!

Hows about "FKUC me I am an idiot" as a logo

Hey Milky welcome to the servers mate and will you please stop pitting you head in th ecrosshairs of my sniper rifle as it is embarrassing how many times you do

Quotes from my father: 1) "Boy, it is better to remain silent and be considered wise than to open your mouth and dispel all illusion!!" 2) On my 18 birthday: " If you are not in bed by 12.......come home!" 3) "Never get into a fair fight and if you do........ cheat!!" 4) "Never get into a fight with something with more/sharper teeth than you!" Words of wisdom that I try to live by ......... but sometimes still forget. Thanks Dad

Hey Dark you idiot ...... congratulations mate and welcome to the family....... now bloody well defrost me

When i was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream then put a cherry on my head...Yes... Life was tough in the gateau... Husband shouts to wife, "Come upstairs and look at this magnificent CLOCK.." She goes upstairs and her husband is stood there stark, bollock naked, with a huge erection. "Thats not a clock" she says. Husband says, "Soon will be when its got two hands and a face on it!" I went to the doctors to get my testicles checked out yesterday. While the doctor was cupping my balls, he said, 'Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of examination.' I said, 'I haven't got one.' He replied, 'No, but I have.' Women! They just don't have a sense of humour. My missus didn't find it nearly as funny as I did when I replaced one of her tampons with a party popper. Man rolls over in bed & grins at wife - she says 'Not tonight darling I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and want 2 stay clean.' Man rolls over feeling rejected. After 5 mins he rolls back over and asks 'Do u have a dentist appointment tomorrow? Teacher to class: "What does your dad do at weekends" Little kid' he's a dancer in a gay bar and somtimes if the moneys right he lets punters bang his arse and come in his gob. Teacher takes him outside "is this true? "no miss it's bollocks' He plays in goal for England but I'm to embarrassed to say 5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blowjob's. 1 % liked warmth 2 % liked sensation. 3 % liked eroticism. 94 % just liked the peace and quiet. What does a penis and a bible have in common.?? They both get shoved down your throat by catholic priests.!! Darken Out!!

Hmmm thats a shame I was enjoying that Zombie mod Oh well back to ace mod and freeze tag I guess

Hey Rugger sorry to say mate I am still getting very slow dl speeds via the redirect to the point where it has dropped to 13k at times .... does give me the chance to make a cuppa though so its not all bad lol. Oh by the way what is the homepage for the mod?

Best of luck Mule

hmmmmm boobies for breakfast lunch and supper and if Angel brings hers in that is for an entire week

Well for me my little brother and I were known as the brothers grim and at that time I had a bit of and dark and sinister side to my nature reflected in my art work at the time so I was both Dark and Grim when it was all said together quickly online it kinda grew into Darkengrim and that stuck pretty daft really but thats the story and I am sticking with it yer honour .

Hi all I just thought I had to share this as my gf emailed it to me and I am still chuckling about it a week on ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF %$^^&*!@.... WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE...!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! P.S... My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!