TBB

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Macirum is no longer free - no updates after 01/01/24

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

People who eat Tide Pods are idiots. The Costco brand pods are half the price. Just saying. Two idiots go on a fishing trip They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their holiday, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home, they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us $1,500!" The other guy says "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" An idiot has a mirror in his closet He wakes up one night and opens the closet and he sees himself. Scared, he quickly calls the cops "Police! There's a burglar in my closet, come quickly!" A police man arrives at the idiots house and opens the closet and finds the mirror. He takes a step back and slaps the idiot as hard as he can "Why did you call me when you already had a policeman inside?!" Two idiots are building a house They just finished the framing and are starting to nail siding on to the house. While one holds the siding,the other drives the nails into it. The guy holding the siding watches as his buddy with the hammer picks up a nail out if the box, hammers it in, picks up another nail out if the box, throws it over his shoulder, picks up a nail from the box, nails it in, picks up another nail, and throws it over his shoulder, and repeats the process. "What are you doing? You're throwing away half the nails we bought." Asks the guy holding up the siding. "I can't use them," answers his buddy with the hammer "they're pointed on the wrong end." "You idiot!" Exclaims his partner, "those are for the other side of the house!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there." He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?" "No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." ------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was scrolling through Twitter and says, "wow, some people are fucking idiots!" I replied, "I know, I'm one of them" Bush, Trump, and Hillary are all on a plane... Bush says, "I could throw this 100$ bill out the window and make someone happy". Trump, with a smug look on his face replies and says, "I could throw ten 10$ bills out the window and make 10 people happy". Hillary smirks and says "oh yeah, I could throw one hundred 1$ bills out the window and make 100 people happy". Then the pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could throw all 3 of these fucking idiots out the window and make millions of people happy". A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel A REALIST sees a freight train The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!!

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here." Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!" There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back. A blonde brunette and a redhead all agree that they are going to have a swimming contest to see who is the fastest swimmer across a lake. they all agree that they are going to use breaststroke to race the redhead comes in first with an hour and a half the brunette comes in second with two hours and the blonde comes finally in last with 4 hours. she walks up to the judges stand and says i hate to be a sore loser but i think the other two girls where using their arms A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!" What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave Q: Why don't blondes eat M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel. Q: What do you call a blonde that stayed in the freezer overnight? A: A frosted flake. A blonde and brunette in an elevator. A man walks in with really bad dandruff. The brunette whispers "Someone should give him some Head and Shoulders". The blonde replies "How do you give shoulders?"

Have a GREAT birthday!!

NICE!! You should do that more often

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

My favorite curse word @BUDMAN - gets them every time!!!

YO B-man - I don't have any problems except you

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

What happens to the leftover????

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

NICE!!! What brand did you use????

Have a GREAT birthday!!!!

Have a GREAT birthday!!!

You rang oh Great Penguin???

You're right

Have a GREAT birthday everyone!!!!

You guys are >IDIOTS<

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed." A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9- Iron". The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9-Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong. He puts his other club away, and grabs a 9-iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked! He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog replies "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3-wood." The guy takes out a 3-wood, and boom! A hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man has golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000,black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom - tons of cash come sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures, Why not? After all the frog did for him, it is a small price to pay. With the kiss, however, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room." A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That’s a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose 'Carmen'" "What’s your name?” she asked. He answered "B. J. Titsengolf." On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything!” Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"