U Know UR a NYer when

[Noears711XI]

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan

 

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building

 

You're always looking out for cool free things to do in the Village Voice

 

When you're standing in a packed subway car with 200 hundred other people and everyone manages to avoid looking at each

other

 

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag

 

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns

 

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

 

You get pissed at people who say they're from NY and they tell you they're from upstate

 

You can pick out the tourists when they turn their heads to the "ladies and gentlemen this is an important announcement from the MTA" message

 

You know what a bodega is.

 

You're on the train and you see two kids walk in and one says "EXCUSE ME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..."

 

When you're in the background of a tourists' photo.

 

You use the rats in the subway tracks to tell you when the train's approaching the station

 

When you say "mad" and "son"

 

You don't buy newspapers in the morning, because you know somebody will leave theirs on the train

 

Your door has more than three locks.

 

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

 

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

 

You don't buy a copy of the Sunday Times without checking if it has all the sections.

 

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form

 

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

 

You hate it when your out of town and you ask people where they're from and they say the city, so you say what part? and they say one the following: New Jersey, Long Island or Westchester. That's not the city!

 

You know that Staten Island, although a borough of New York City, isn't really part of the city at all

 

There are 3 bodegas in a 1 block radius.

 

When you are surprised that other places actually have school sports and cheerleaders

 

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

 

You wonder what the fuck "pop" is

 

You hate it when people that sit opposite you on the train stare at you.

 

You can ignore homeless people without feeling too bad

 

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

 

The only reason you don't like HS is because NY is the only state with the Regent

 

There's a Kennedy's Fried Chicken close to where you live

 

Your local news is national news.

 

More than half of the people you know have names that take 3+ tries to pronounce correctly

 

There is no North and South ... it's uptown or downtown

 

When you see at least one person you know no matter where u are or when

 

You hate it when ppl who live upstate call themselves "new yorkers?'

 

When you see those big red tourist buses and want to throw shit at them...

 

You can walk through "The City" for hours and not get tired but once your out of NYC and walk for 10 minutes you feel exhausted.

 

You don't own a "I LOVE NEW YORK" shirt

 

You're so tired of hearing "If you see something say something", or the Spanish version: Si ves algo, di algo, in either the subway or LIRR

 

You watch movies and TV shows "filmed" in NYC and say "wtf..that shit does NOT exist anywhere in the city

 

You have trained yourself to hold your breath upon entering a subway elevator

 

You move up one block to steal the cab from the person waiting for it below you

 

When you've held the trains doors open so you and 50 of your friends can get in.

 

You refuse to eat pizza anywhere other than NYC because the pizza everywhere else is just horrible in comparison

 

You can tell a bum from a crackhead-bum and you disperse your money accordingly

 

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

 

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet

 

When you refuse to pay for a newspaper ever since the am and metro came out

 

People from other states can't tell a polar bear from a peanut, but they know you're from NY the second you open your mouth.

 

Rather than waiting safely on the sidewalk to cross the street, you wait inches away from speeding traffic waiting to cut through it.

 

You never take the first newspaper in the stack at a news stand.

 

You consider Westchester "upstate"

 

You walk a mile in 13 minutes and think that everything should be open 24/7.

 

Yellow light means speed up. Red light means speed up because you know have that 1 second pause until the other light turns green.

 

Communicating with people on the road only takes one finger.

 

You order your dinner and have it delivered from the place across the street.

 

Rats are your new subway friends.

 

You know exactly which subway car & door is closest to the stairs at the stop ur getting off

 

You have jaywalked in front of a cop. More than once. And they didn't care.

 

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual

 

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple"

 

You can't find an umbrella anywhere when its nice out but the second it rains 5 people are fighting to sell them on the same block

 

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid

 

You get lost whenever you drive in long island b/c you're used to all the street being numbered

[HarryWeezer]

But there comes a times when you say to hell with the taxes and the winters, and move south of the Mason-Dixon, never again to venture north between Nov. 1 and April 30.

[3rdCdnInfty]

good ones

[Boomer]

you know your a NY'er when.....

 

you don't know wtf grits are!

you think 1/4 cup of sugar classify's a gallon of tea as sweet!

you think 70 degrees means its a heat wave!

you use salt on the roads instead your food!

you might say yous guys instead of Ya'll!

you get sea sick in your dads pond!

you think Ihop means you jump around!

your suntan only comes from a bottle of coppertone instant tanning gel!

you think being slick, is when you put vitalis in your hair!

you think a fuzzy navel is someones hairy belly button!

you don't know wtf a palm tree looks like!

 

 

 

ok well I've to go to work now, cya!