God Created Children (And In The Process, Grandchildren!)

[JohnnyDos]

GOD CREATED CHILDREN

(AND IN THE PROCESS, GRANDCHILDREN!)

 

 

 

 

To those of us who have children in our lives,

whether they are our own, grandchildren,

nieces, nephews, or students...

here is something to make you chuckle

 

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought

that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

 

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

 

And the first thing he said was 'DON'T! '

 

'Don't what ?' Adam replied.

 

'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' God said.

 

'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.we have forbidden fruit! '

 

 

 

' No Way ! '

'Yes way! '

 

'Do NOT eat the fruit! ' said God.

 

 

'Why? '

 

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering

why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

 

A few minutes later, God saw His children

having an apple break and He was ticked !

'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' God asked.

 

 

 

 

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

 

'Then why did you? ' said the Father.

 

'I don't know,' said Eve.

'She started it! ' Adam said.

 

'Did not ! '

'Did too! '

'DID NOT! '

 

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve

should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

 

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom

and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

 

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think

it would be a piece of cake for you ?

 

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

 

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.

Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

 

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

 

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

 

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat

word for word what you shouldn't have said.

 

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties

is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

 

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

 

 

 

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

 

Be nice to your kids..

They will choose your nursing home one day!

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,

DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

 

 

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

[little_old_man]

The comedian Gallagher once said something at a live performance that pretty much summed it up for me.

 

"The good lord made kids so cute so you don't fucking kill them."

[Pharticus]

Gallagher was much more than a comedian, he was a role model.