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Funny Beer Quotes

  1. “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” – Jack Nicholson
  2. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
  3. “I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King
  4. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson
  5. “In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin
  6. “Beer is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.” – Anonymous
  7. “Beer is like the sun that brings us together.” – Unknown
  8. “Life is too short to drink cheap beer.” – Anonymous
  9. “Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.” – W.C. Fields
  10. “If given the truth, [the people] can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts — and beer.” – Abraham Lincoln
  11. “A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.” – Czech Proverb
  12. “I don’t trust people who don’t drink beer.” – Unknown
  13. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” – Dave Barry
  14. “Beer is a hug in a glass.” – Unknown
  15. “Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war.” – Frederick the Great
  16. “Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.” – Anonymous
  17. “Beer, it’s not just for breakfast anymore.” – Unknown
  18. “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Wilhelm
  19. “Beer: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.” – Unknown
  20. “Beer: the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson
  21. “Beer: helping people lower their standards since its invention.” – Unknown
  22. “Without beer, life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
  23. “Beer is the universal language of love.” – Unknown
  24. “Save water, drink beer.” – Unknown
  25. “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.” – Thomas Jefferson
  26. “Beer: because adulting is hard.” – Unknown
  27. “Beer is the best kind of therapy.” – Unknown
  28. “In dog beers, I’ve only had one.” – Unknown
  29. “Beer: the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.” – Unknown
  30. “Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon.” – Unknown
  31. “Beer makes you feel like you should feel without it.” – Charles Bukowski
  32. “Good people drink good beer.” – Hunter S. Thompson
  33. “Beer is a constant proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Unknown
  34. “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” – Homer Simpson
  35. “Beer is the pinnacle of human achievement.” – Unknown
  36. “Beer: a magical potion that turns conversations into memories.” – Unknown
  37. “Beer is the reason I wake up every afternoon.” – Unknown
  38. “A meal without beer is called breakfast.” – Unknown
  39. “Beer: because you don’t win friends with salad.” – Unknown
  40. “Beer: the answer to all of life’s questions, but I can’t remember the questions.” – Unknown
  41. “Beer: the perfect blend of hops, barley, and friendship.” – Unknown
  42. “Beer: nature’s way of telling us to take a break.” – Unknown
  43. “Beer is like a hug in a mug.” – Unknown
  44. “Beer is the ultimate icebreaker.” – Unknown
  45. “Beer: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” – Unknown
  46. “Beer is the glue that holds friendships together.” – Unknown
  47. “Beer: it’s not just a beverage, it’s a lifestyle.” – Unknown
  48. “Beer: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.” – Unknown
  49. “Beer: the official currency of good times.” – Unknown
  50. “Beer: bringing people together since forever.” – Unknown
  51. “Beer is a constant reminder that there is always something to celebrate.” – Unknown
  52. “Beer: the perfect blend of art and science.” – Unknown
  53. “Beer: the elixir of laughter and merriment.” – Unknown
  54. “Beer is the fountain of youth hidden in a glass.” – Unknown
  55. “Beer: the nectar of the gods, crafted by the hands of mortals.” – Unknown
  56. “Beer: it’s what’s for dinner.” – Unknown
  57. “Beer: where good stories are brewed.” – Unknown
  58. “Beer: the liquid equivalent of a hug.” – Unknown
  59. “Beer: the unofficial beverage of letting loose.” – Unknown
  60. “Beer: because adulting is hard.” – Unknown
  61. “Beer is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.” – Unknown
  62. “Beer is a work of art that disappears after you drink it.” – Unknown
  63. “Beer: the perfect dance partner for good times.” – Unknown
  64. “Beer: the passport to relaxation.” – Unknown
  65. “Beer: the silent therapist.” – Unknown
  66. “Beer: the most important meal of the day.” – Unknown
  67. “Beer is like a fine wine, but it tastes better.” – Unknown
  68. “Beer: it’s like a party in your mouth.” – Unknown
  69. “Beer: it’s not just a drink, it’s an adventure.” – Unknown
  70. “Beer: because you deserve a cold one.” – Unknown
  71. “Beer: the secret ingredient to a life well-lived.” – Unknown
  72. “Beer is the ultimate wingman.” – Unknown
  73. “Beer: the fuel for epic stories.” – Unknown
  74. “Beer: the ultimate refreshment.” – Unknown
  75. “Beer: the original social network.” – Unknown
  76. “Beer: the perfect companion for good company.” – Unknown
  77. “Beer: the ultimate source of inspiration.” – Unknown
  78. “Beer: the language of celebration.” – Unknown
  79. “Beer: the official beverage of happy hour.” – Unknown
  80. “Beer: the cure for what ales you.” – Unknown


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Homer Simpson Beer Quotes

Homer Simpson, the beloved character from the animated series “The Simpsons,” is well-known for his love of beer. Here are a few funny beer quotes from Homer Simpson:

  1. “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
  2. “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
  3. “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”
  4. “Mmm… beer.”
  5. “Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.”
  6. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
  7. “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s get through this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
  8. “I’m in no condition to drive… Wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself; I’m drunk!”
  9. “I’m gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.”
  10. “Beer, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”
 


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Ben Franklin Beer Quotes

Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, had a few notable quotes about beer. Here are a couple of them:

  1. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” This quote is often attributed to Benjamin Franklin, although the exact wording may vary in different versions.
  2. “Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards; there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.” While not specifically about beer, this quote highlights Franklin’s appreciation for alcoholic beverages and the joy they bring.


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Peter Griffin Beer Quotes

Peter Griffin, the main character of the animated series “Family Guy,” has had several memorable quotes about beer. Here are a few notable ones:

  1. “You know, I’ve learned something today: an empty beer bottle makes a great improvised weapon.”
  2. “Beer is the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.”
  3. “You see, it’s like I always say, ‘Anything worth doing is worth doing with a beer.'”
  4. “All right, let’s drink. I’m thirsty and he’s… passed out from all the beer he drank.”
  5. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”
  6. “Why don’t you sit down and have a beer with me? We can talk about how pretty I am.”
  7. “I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a binge drinker; there’s a difference. An alcoholic has to drink, but a binge drinker… wants to drink.”
  8. “They say beer is like liquid bread. I can get behind that. I’m a carb guy.”
  9. “I don’t need to drink to have a good time. I need to drink to make other people interesting.”
  10. “Beer, beer, beer, bed! Bed! Bed! Bed! … Beer! Beer! Beer!”


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Norm Peterson Beer Quotes

Norm Peterson, a beloved character from the TV show “Cheers,” is famous for his witty one-liners and his love for beer. Here are a few quotes from Norm Peterson about beer:

  1. “Women. You can’t live with them, pass me the beer nuts.”
  2. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.”
  3. “After a long day, there’s nothing better than a cold beer and a warm barstool.”
  4. “Beer: my favorite food group.”
  5. “I don’t trust any man who doesn’t drink.”
  6. “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a beer enthusiast.”
  7. “Beer, it’s the answer and the cause of all of life’s problems.”
  8. “Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, waste a lifetime.”
  9. “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”
  10. “What’s the definition of ‘beer goggles’? When you wake up the next morning, and the person lying next to you is a hell of a lot better looking.”

 



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Posted

Funny Beer Quotes from Actors

 

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”

Paul Newman or Steven Wright

 

“The problem with the world is, everyone in it is three drinks behind.”

Humphrey Bogart

 

“I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably.”

Amanda Peet

 

“I did quite enjoy the days when one went for a beer at one’s local in Paris and woke up in Corsica.”

Peter O'Toole

 

“I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.”

Mads Mikkelsen

 

“Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.”

Tallulah Bankhead


My Story

“Important people are much more interesting when they are drunk and seem much more like human beings. “

Marilyn Monroe, My Story

 

“I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don’t feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.”

Richard Harris

 

“Wracked with a hangover I do my muttering over a Black Velvet, a union of champagne and stout. Don’t be swindled into believing there’s any cure for a hangover. I’ve tried them all: iced tomatoes, hot clam juice, brandy peaches. Like the common cold it defies solution. Time alone can stay it. The hair of the dog? That way lies folly. It’s as logical as trying to put out a fire with applications of kerosene.”

Tallulah Bankhead

 

“Booze is the most outrageous of drugs which is why I chose it.”

Peter O'Toole

 

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. “

George Burns

 

“It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. “

Shirley MacLaine

 

“I turned Hamlet down because it was going to take up too much of my drinking time.”

Richard Harris

 

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

“If you can’t do something willingly and joyfully, then don’t do it. If you give up drinking, don’t go moaning about it; go back on the bottle.”

Peter O'Toole

 

“My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”

Tallulah Bankhead

 

“I gave up drinking once — it was the worst afternoon of my life.”

Humphrey Bogart

 

“I don’t drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk.”

Richard Harris

 

 



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Posted
Here are some short, funny, and occasionally risqué beer quotes and one-liners in English:
 
Funny & Witty Beer One-Liners
  • "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."
  • "I make beer disappear. What's your superpower?"
  • "Trust me, you can dance." - Beer
  • "Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean; against walls, doors, toilets…"
  • "My pants say yoga but my soul wants beer."
  • "I said no to beer, but it just doesn't listen."
 
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